looking for him. Nothing is happening there. We’re just friends.”
I watched her cheeks turn the same shade mine had been just a minute ago, and shook my head at her. “Fine. If you say so. You look stunning by the way.”
She really did. Her hair fell in perfect waves down her back, and her eyes were bright and coated in dark coal with heavy mascara on her long lashes. Even in jeans, an emerald scarf and a white long-sleeved T-shirt, my friend looked like she’d stepped off the cover of a magazine.
“Are we going to warm up?” Jules asked when he joined us. He’d been taking calls most of the night so far, but his phone was now safely tucked away, and his attention was on us. “I know you two have your rituals, so go about them. Just get that voice nice and ready, huh?”
Tani nodded. “I’m on it.”
Our methods were a little unorthodox, and we hadn’t done any warming up together for a long time, but when she burst into “Jeremiah Was a Bullfrog,” I didn’t waste any time joining in. Mom, Dad, Jules, and Billy watched us going through our very own routine before we got down to business.
We sang a few of the Wicked songs together and I found myself wishing, not for the first time, that she’d consider a comeback of her own. Tani had been born for the stage, and now that Cash was older, I planned on speaking to her about it very soon.
“Are you nervous?” she asked after swallowing half a bottle of water when we stopped warming up.
My hand went to my throat without any conscious thought. “More and less than I thought I would be. Part of me was expecting a breakdown while the other thought it’d feel like just another day going out there.”
She pulled me into a quick side-hug. “You’re going to be great, Ry. We’re all here to support you.”
My mom must have wandered closer to us because suddenly, her arms wrapped around me and she hugged me too. “Tani’s got that right. We’re all here for you.”
I released a long breath, wrapping my hands around my mom’s arms. “It just feels different to what I thought it would, you know? I’m as nervous as a known virgin at a frat party, but it also feels right being back here.”
“That’s because it is right,” Jules chimed in. He looked as good as ever in his expertly tailored dove-gray suit and white button-down shirt. “Everything is set and ready upstairs. All you need to do is remember your lines and your cues, and you’ll be back at the top by tomorrow morning.”
“I don’t care about being at the top. All I want is to be able to do what I love doing again,” I said, even though I’d contemplated calling this whole thing off again just this morning.
It wasn’t because I didn’t want to be back. I really did. I just didn’t know if the risk was going to be worth the reward.
My doctors had checked in with me again, and according to them, everything looked fine. Not that it hadn’t before and I’d collapsed at the ice rink anyway, but they assured me that there was nothing physical indicating an attack was imminent.
It wasn’t an exact science, of course, but they’d drawn blood and done everything they could to make sure I was really ready. It was up to me now.
True to the promises I’d made him, I’d spoken to Carter this morning about my doubts. His response had been just as perfect and unexpected as always.
If you want me to take you away from here, just say the word. We can become beach bums on some remote island in Southeast Asia or go instruct kids learning how to ski on slopes somewhere. We’ll fall off the map and never come back.
But then he’d rolled over me in bed, tucking my hair behind my ears and staring deep into my eyes. Just because you go back for this one show doesn’t mean you have to stay. If it’s too much, if you ever feel like it’s overwhelming you and you want out for good, we can go. Or stay right here and officially announce your retirement.
My heart still melted at the memory of his words. Not just because they were exactly what I’d needed to hear but because I’d felt like I was staring right into his soul through the caramel windows of his eyes.
He’d meant every