He was my brother’s best friend growing up, and just like the cliché, I was the little sister who fell for him. He has a heart of gold, a backbone of steel, and a soul I want to grow old with.”
At least I kept it PG. Billy’s heart might just make it.
“I’ve never told him this, but I guess there’s no time like the present, right?” I saw his lips part and wished I could kiss him, but I still had something to say. “I love you, Carter. I love you with all that I am and all that I ever have been. I love you with everything I hope to become, with every dream I have, and with every beat of my heart.”
Well, so much for waiting until we were alone.
Tears welled in my eyes, and I let them slide out because what was the point of trying to stop it? It was all true and I wanted everyone in the world to know how much he meant to me. I wanted to dispel all the awful rumors and I couldn’t think of a better, more honest way to do it.
My words were met with squeals and screams. I grinned through my tears, waiting for the ruckus to die down.
A red warning light came on to the side of the stage, indicating that I only had one minute left. “So now you all know the truth. You know about my love, my battle, and my fears, but what you don’t know yet is that I’m back. Get ready New York. Ain’t nothing gonna hold me down.”
A cloud of green smoke suddenly enveloped the stage and I was grateful to whoever had given me the perfect way to disappear. It’d been an improvisation on the original plan of having me come up through the floor, but it worked just as well.
When the smoke cleared, I was in position with my back turned to the audience and my arms extended to my sides. My heart pumped heavily, but I wasn’t nervous anymore. I was excited.
Pure joy flowed through my bloodstream. I’m really back, baby. Yeah!
The music started and the brand-new poster for Wicked unrolled above my head. It was as long as the stage and probably twice as high. I knew without looking what caused the gasps and shouts of encouragement from the audience.
All the advertising to date had teased the mystery about who was going to play Elphaba. The rest of the cast had surrounded a blacked-out silhouette. What people were looking at now, though, was the official unveiling of the real poster where I was in the center of them, my name printed across the top in giant bold letters.
When my cue came, I threw myself into my performance with as much passion and abandon as ever. I was no longer afraid that my legs would quit on me. If they did, I knew Carter would be there in a heartbeat, and more than that, I knew people would understand.
I hadn’t realized how much of a weight keeping the truth quiet had placed on my chest. I really had needed time to figure out what to say, but now that I’d said it, I was ecstatic to have it over with. Finally, the time had come where I could stop looking over my shoulder when I had to go see my doctor. I could visit a drug store without the possibility of speculation. Carter and I could live without wondering what else Nathan would try to expose. It was all out there now. I had nothing left to hide.
My performance benefited from my exhilaration. I hit every note and my body had never moved quite as fluidly.
“Hands touch, eyes meet. Sudden silence, sudden heat. Hearts leap in a giddy whirl.” The songwriter had a point about giddiness. I was certainly feeling it all the way down to my toes. “He could be that boy, but I’m not that girl. Don’t dream too far. Don’t lose sight of who you are.”
Good advice, Elphaba. I had lost sight of who I was, but this, performing, was a part of me and it was amazing to have it back. “Don’t remember that rush of joy. He could be that boy. I’m not that girl.”
But I am that girl and I love it. “Every so often we long to steal to the land of what-might-have-been. But that doesn’t soften the ache we feel when reality sets back in.”
“Blithe smile, lithe limb. She who’s