with me…
“I need you to know that I’m sorry.”
He closed his eyes and exhaled.
“What are you?” she whispered.
“A frog. A golden poison dart frog. An amphibious...creature that’s been extinct for centuries. A goddamned fucking frog. And do you know what the worst of it is? I can’t shift. I have this need to be what I am, but I can’t. All I can do is endure.”
“A frog?”
“I lied to you before. If you want your thoughts to go away, Alexa”—his soul shriveled—“I can…make that happen.”
“You can’t control it? At all?”
It’s the most she had said to him in days.
“Yes, it’s how I do most of my killing,” he said. “And control it?” He growled. “I can to a point. I spend my night shifts boiling in water, draining my body of all its resources. Only to be forced to replenish and do it all again the next night.”
Her brow furrowed. “Do you remember…”
“Do I remember what?”
“Nothing.” She looked away.
He stood. “Do I remember what, Alexa?” Don’t shut me out.
Her face shuddered. “It doesn’t matter.”
“What doesn’t matter?” he demanded. “Give me something, anything.”
“I want to talk to Pigeon,” she murmured, turning away.
Pigeon? Again? Another man’s name.
His glands opened. Had he been worrying about Raul all this time when he should’ve been worrying about the seventy-year-old mechanic? Anger coursed through him.
Hysterian gritted his teeth. His tongue shot out to coil and slide around, rubbing against them.
“I meant it when I said I’ll never hurt you,” he said. “I know I already have, but I still mean it.” Devils, he had to believe it was true. “If you don’t want to come clean to me, I’m going to have to turn you into the authorities. I can’t risk you giving information to our…” He cleared his throat, trailing off.
The word enemies was left unsaid in the air.
She didn’t respond.
He stormed to where she sat, grabbing her shoulders and shaking her. “Why are you giving up? Just fucking tell me, Alexa. Make me understand!”
She jerked out of his grip, and he let her go. Cold. There was nothing but coldness.
“Fine,” he sneered. “Have it your way.”
With one final look, he memorized everything he could about her—the woman who’d snatched his heart from his chest when he wasn’t looking—and strode to the door before he did something he’d regret.
“Goodbye, Dear.”
If Alexa was done, so was he.
Twenty-Two
The door to the cabin closed with a resounding hiss. She scrambled to her feet and ran to it, only to stop once she got there.
Pain burst in her chest, her heart shattering.
What was she supposed to say? He wanted her to tell him what he wanted to hear. That she was forced to come aboard his ship and pretend to be something she wasn’t. It wasn’t true. She came of her own volition. She came to kill him.
That was her only objective. That was her goal.
To make him answer for his actions.
If he hadn’t planned to kill her already, he was certainly going to if he found out the real reason she was here. How could he not? They were enemies, even if he wouldn’t say it aloud.
And now that she knew about his time with Raphael… His reasons. It made her sick. She pitied Hysterian. She’d always known Raphael wasn’t a good man. The owner of Dimes was known on Elyria as being awful, but she had no proof of anything, only rumors.
And what Hysterian did? What he could do?
What he could’ve done to her?
Those weren’t rumors anymore.
As long as she’d kept her mouth closed about her reasons, she could bide her time, wait for new information. So she’d waited and slept when she could. She’d waited with nothing but her guilt to keep her company.
Alexa pushed away from the door and sat heavily on the sofa because deep down she knew that it didn’t matter how much time passed, nothing was actually going to change.
Because she loved Hysterian so much it hurt.
She shuddered.
She needed to talk to Pigeon. She needed someone to tell her what to do.
She needed her dad. She wanted to know why he’d been involved with Raphael and Hysterian at all. She’d always wondered, but it had been eclipsed by his murder. She’d convinced herself that he’d been killed out of cruelty, malice.
That he’d been a victim of a hate crime or that he’d been in the wrong place at the wrong time.
She needed Pigeon. Alexa shook. But she wanted Hysterian.
Alexa pulled at her hair and groaned.
He kills people when he touches them… Was