with his crew like a normal fucking person,” Raul spat. “I’ve always heard how heroic and great Cyborgs were. If they are, Hysterian certainly isn’t one of them.”
“He was right to check me,” she said, defending Hysterian. “He’s the captain, our leader, and nothing like you or me. Can you imagine how lonely that is?” She let go of Raul and rubbed her brow.
“Don’t pity him, Dear.”
“I’m not pitying him! I’d never pity him. I’m just trying to understand. Anyway,” Alexa said, wanting to change the subject, “we need to wipe the specs of the habitats and see if the resources we used can be salvaged.”
Raul waved his hand. “I’ll take care of that. Did he say what happened?”
“Only that Titan’s officials weren’t forthcoming with all the details of their request. That the problem was about money, and the solution they wanted would result in death. He doesn’t want us to be a part of their schemes or to take the fall. He was already in a mood before I approached him.”
“Hmm.” Raul’s eyes hooded in thought. “So that’s why we’re leaving so soon.”
“Yeah.”
He breathed deep and let it out slowly.
Alexa relaxed. She didn’t have to worry about him running off to her rescue when her back was turned. She didn’t think she could live with another innocent death on her hands. Especially since the real reason she was upset wasn’t because of Hysterian, but herself.
Part of her had wanted the Cyborg to grab her again when she had walked away. Part of her wished she’d pulled down Hysterian’s face covering and kissed him.
She was curious what it would feel like, curious what would have happened if she had. The tightness between her legs hadn’t eased, and she was beginning to realize what it meant.
She wanted Hysterian. She wanted everything he threatened and more. She wanted him to take her hard that there’d be pain, so much pain that it would erase everything else. She deserved it. And to be hurt by the very being that turned her this way? It felt like a sick sort of justice for her failings.
Maybe if she was consumed with physical suffering, it would take all the pain in her thoughts away.
Alexa swallowed. I should’ve stayed. I should’ve agreed. He could be breaking me right now on the floor of the bridge if I hadn’t run.
God, she needed to be broken. Maybe then she could pick up the pieces and rebuild herself the way she wanted this time. Without the guilt, without the loneliness. Without fear.
Without alien DNA coursing through her veins.
Alexa closed her eyes and exhaled. If only it could be that easy.
“You sure you’re okay, Dear?” Raul asked. She opened her eyes as he took another step forward.
He studied her. She studied him back.
Maybe it didn’t have to be Hysterian who broke her. Maybe she should embrace Raul’s flirtation, open herself up to it. If she let him in, maybe this fixation on her enemy would go away.
I’ve been thinking of Hysterian and only Hysterian for far too long.
Raul was handsome, and kept fit. Maybe with him, I won’t need to be broken. Maybe I can fix everything more easily. She slid her eyes to Raul’s chest, his arms. He could easily dominate her if she needed him to, like her mind wanted. He was nothing like Hysterian, though, and not intimidating in the least. That was a good thing.
She closed the distance between them.
Raul’s eyes widened, but he didn’t pull away.
“I’m okay,” she said. “But I could be better…”
“Alexa? Are you—”
“Yes.”
He slowly nodded.
This is good, she thought. This will work. Raul could help her. She reached up and clasped his neck. His arms came around her and jerked her into his chest.
It was warm, hard, but not so hot that it threatened to suffocate her. Raul smelled like shaving cream, not like burning metal. His cock hardened against her hip. He pressed it against her.
Take Hysterian out of my head.
Raul’s hands glided up her back until they reached her hair. He hooked his fingers into her bun and pulled out her band.
Her hair tumbled down her back.
Fuck Hysterian, fuck him.
“I’ve wanted to see you with your hair down since I first saw you,” Raul murmured.
“Oh...”
“You’re beautiful, far more so than a man like me should ever have the honor of holding.”
Beautiful? Hah. She’d never been called beautiful in her life. She tried to meet Raul’s eyes but couldn’t, looking at the collar of his suit instead. “Thank you, I think.” He