like my arms weighed five thousand pounds apiece.
The restaurant was noisy and bright even though it was only six o’clock in the morning. I never realized so many people in the world are up and around and in need of pancakes at six a.m. The waiter was named Chris, and he looked like a college student working the graveyard shift. When he came by with coffee, he smiled at us knowingly and said, So. Big night, eh, kids? Lemme get you some water.
I never thought water tasted so good in my entire life. Chris eventually put a pitcher on the table because we were drinking so much so quickly that he was wearing out his shoes getting refills. I ordered French toast and the first few bites were delicious, but then the muscles in my jaw really started to ache because I’d been clenching my teeth all night.
By the time we got back to Jess’s house, I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open while I drove home. Luckily, Dad and Ashley like to sleep in on Saturday and Mom always clears out early on for tennis and brunch with her friends. She was gone until midafternoon yesterday, which allowed me to drink orange juice and lay around in my flannel pajama pants in front of the TV for most of the day, which I desperately needed. Turns out “pure bliss” can be exhausting.
But God, was it ever fun. I get it now. I get why people call it ecstasy.
Monday, April 28
So weird seeing Pete in the hallway today. He smiled at me as he passed me and Jess. He was walking with Brandon and they didn’t stop to say anything, but we all sort of shared this moment. I can’t believe I made out with him.
Jess just got called out for talking in study hall. Mrs. Stone is exactly as her name implies. Jess was whispering to me, asking what the hell I was doing. She’s never seen me write anything I didn’t have to. I’m sure me with a journal is blowing her mind.
Ashley has been floating around the school today. I’ve seen her twice now. Once this morning after first period, and again when Jess and I were in line to get lunch. Reid Boston stopped by her table to say hi flanked by this tall guy with longish dark hair and ice-blue eyes named Carson who looks like a Ralph Lauren model. It caused quite a stir in the ranks of the underclassmen. Jesus. You’d think it was 1954 and Elvis had stopped by to ask Annette to the sock hop. Hasn’t anything changed in the last fifty years?
This morning, when I was leaving for school, Mom blew me a kiss and said, Good luck, honey!
Good luck.
Like I was going on a game show.
She and Ashley had been talking about going shopping for prom dresses while they ate their yogurt and berries at the kitchen island. I was pouring a bowl of Froot Loops and Mom was like, There’s plenty of yogurt and fruit if you want it. I know on the face of things that seems like a really sweet suggestion. But it isn’t. It’s her trying to control what I eat for breakfast. This has been an ongoing issue since I was in eighth grade. The unspoken message is that what she and Ashley are eating for breakfast is more healthful and will keep me slim and beautiful.
I ignored her and ate my bowl of Froot Loops and a banana, as is my custom. I did decide to dry my hair this morning instead of just going to school with it wet and twisted up in a clip, so that’s something Mom can be thankful for. Probably why she said, Good luck! I’m sure deep down inside she’s still holding out that I’ll get asked to prom too.
The thing is, I wouldn’t be opposed to prom, it’s just that I feel like Mom thinks it’s some sort of failing in my character that I don’t harbor Ashley’s princess dreams. I am pretty normal looking. Ashley is way above average. That’s just the long and the short of it. I’m not repulsive or anything, I’m just your average girl. I’m okay with that. I just wish my mom was. The idea of both of her daughters in pink ball gowns heading off to prom probably has her teetering on the edge of sanity right this very second.
It was so fun not to