to see me again.
I guess this is the part of molly that is the opposite of “pure bliss.”
But you know something? If I have the chance to do it again, I will. I don’t care how bad this feels right now. Nothing feels as good as doing molly.
Saturday, June 14
It has been thirteen days since I left the house without my mother or father. It’s like I’m six years old again. I guess I never really think about how much I come and go as I please. My parents are generally pretty cool about stuff like curfews and letting me go places with my friends, but the past two weeks I haven’t even asked. I know better.
Dad has stopped staring at me like I’m a stranger, and gradually Mom has even lightened up a little bit. Ashley, on the other hand, glares at me like I’m the source of every problem in the whole world, and hasn’t spoken to me except to ask me to pass food when we are sitting down at dinner. Whatever. She can blame everybody in the world for this, but she was the one who had to go up and talk to Mr. Peterson. If she hadn’t gushed all over him like a crazy person, he wouldn’t have come to find me. And if he hadn’t come to find me, I wouldn’t have kissed him on the nose.
Did that really happen?
Reading that sentence just made me laugh for the first time in almost two weeks.
Last night we had Family Movie Night just like it was any other Friday. Only instead of watching a movie, Dad had us all watch this episode of a show called Drugs, Inc. on National Geographic. It was about molly and the Seattle rave scene. In the episode, all these people are doing molly and talking about it. Of course, they highlight all the “terrible” ways in which molly is dangerous—how it raises your body temperature and puts you at risk of dehydration and blah, blah, blah. Guess what? It made me want to roll. It also made me want to try snorting molly next time. They talked about how the high was faster and more direct. I remembered that it certainly seemed to be that way for Carson and Reid.
Carson texted me today and asked what I was doing tonight—like he didn’t know. We’ve been playing this game where he texts me and asks what I’m up to, and I make up ridiculous replies like:
Getting a tattoo of an elephant on my left shoulder.
Having tea with Kate Middleton and trying on her hats.
Packing for a trip to Paris with Emma Stone.
But today I wasn’t in the mood so I just texted him that I was LOSING MY MIND. He texted back a picture of him, Jess, and Kelly with the words:
We’re coming to spring you from prison. Be ready at 11. He spins at 12AM!
This awesome DJ that Kyle turned us all on to is playing a show tonight. The DJ is called Whip5mart and he’s supposedly spinning at this underground party Kyle knows about. It’s sort of a traveling rave, and this month it’s being held in an abandoned swimming pool in a part of town I am not allowed to go to by myself. I mean, right now I’m not allowed to go anywhere by myself, but I mean under normal circumstances.
But I was serious about losing my mind. I have to get out of here. Mom and Dad are usually in bed by ten thirty on Saturdays, and Ashley has been locking herself in her room as soon as dinner is over. She’s been crying a lot because last time Reid called, Mom told him that he could stop calling because Ashley isn’t allowed to date him anymore.
So, he stopped calling.
If you ask me, Reid is being exactly the douche that I thought he was to begin with. If your girlfriend’s parents tell you not to see her anymore and you really like her, do you let that stop you? I asked Carson the same thing once about the girl he was supposed to bring to prom. He admitted that he just wasn’t that into her. He felt like her parents did him a favor because he was going to break up with her after prom.
Anyway, I said I’d be ready at midnight. I told him to park at the end of the block. I’ll just go out the back door in the garage and let myself