to schedule your added sessions?”
I couldn’t handle another well-meaning conversation with him. Not yet. Not with an A etched into my hip and my brain being so… Briar.
“Not right now.” My eyes darted to the rest of the group. “I’m heading to dinner with everyone.”
Derrick wasn’t the only one who was surprised by my announcement. Even I was surprised by my impulsive decision. But if it got me out of probing questions, I’d suck it up for one night. It wasn’t like I had any other plans. Aria was at her practice, Alexander was working, and I’d wrapped up yet another rewatch of my favorite TV show—my anxiety appreciated the comfort binge.
“Good, that’ll be fun,” he said before turning and leaving the room.
“Ready?” Jenna asked, practically bouncing with excitement.
Huddled with the group, we walked down the street to a diner. As tempted as I was to come up with an excuse to leave—or just run off into the night—I knew someone would rat me out next session. It wasn’t worth it, especially since my existing reputation of being quiet meant people weren’t expecting titillating conversation from me.
Or any conversation, really.
It was great. I got to show the promising growth of going out with my peers, a mega order of cheese sticks for dinner, and I didn’t have to talk.
It was a win-win-win.
I even let Jenna pull me in for a selfie with our milkshakes. I knew I’d regret giving her my number to text me the pic, but that was a problem for future-me. I wanted to forward it to Aria.
Aria: Looks like you’re having fun! I love seeing your smile! Is this too many exclamation points?! It feels like too many exclamation points! I don’t care! I’m just so happy to see you happy!!!!!
I may not have been wanting to go out—and it might’ve been under false pretenses—but that text made it all worth it. A smidge of the guilt I’d been carrying all week slid from my shoulders.
Riding that high, I sent the picture off to Alexander, too.
Not just the picture, but a tiny bit of truth.
Me: I miss you.
Tech Nerd: Miss you, too, flower. Christ, that smile. Can’t wait to see it in person.
Tech Nerd: Who’s that guy?”
I had to check to see Frankie’s arm and part of his face had just barely made it in the side of the pic.
“Who’s that?”
I jumped at Jenna’s voice right near my ear. I bristled from being startled and the invasion of my privacy, but I choked back my cutting retort. “Just a guy I’m talking to.”
The understatement of the century.
“What’s he look like? Is he cute?” She rolled her eyes and gestured to me. “Why am I asking? Of course he’s cute.”
My phone buzzed a couple times as she talked. When Meghan snagged her attention to ask about a movie they’d seen, I angled my phone away to check the texts.
Tech Nerd: I’m glad you went out.
Tech Nerd: Could do without the guy sitting next to you but still glad you’re out.
Me: I’m having dinner with people from group. Calm your inner caveman.
Tech Nerd: With you? Never. I put an A on it, so it’s mine.
An addicting jolt of adrenaline and excitement zipped through me, waking me up and tightening my nipples.
Me: And I licked it, so it’s mine.
Tech Nerd: Fuck, flower, don’t give me a hard-on during this meeting.
Thankfully, I’d exited out of the naughty messages before Jenna turned back. She peppered me with questions about Alexander, my job, and my life in general, spinning each back to her—which, honestly, was preferable rather than focusing on me.
After a while, she sat back and played with her straw, swirling it in her nearly empty milkshake glass. Her forced smile dropped away and her voice was soft. “It’s no wonder he likes you so much. Totally obsessed. You don’t have to put a filter on your life. You’re already perfect.”
I burst out laughing. “Trust me, I’m far from perfect.”
“You are.” She chewed on her bottom lip. “I’ve been trying so hard. I thought…” Shaking her head, she whispered, “But I couldn’t turn my can’ts into cans. I’m just too fucked up.”
I grabbed her hand, shocking us both. But I kept hold of it and told her basically the same thing Alexander had told me. “We’re all fucked up in our own ways. And that’s okay.”
She smiled at me, and I could almost see her mask snap back into place—real recognized real.
Or, in our case, fake recognized fake.
“I still say you’re