a mother, but as you know, ours wasn’t very, well… motherly. Now she’s got something going with a new guy, a new practice, and a new dog. I want her to focus on that new.”
“You’re a good sister.”
I mulled that over in my head for a minute. “You always do that.”
“Do what?”
“Say the right thing.”
“And that’s why I’m your favorite.” Releasing my hand, he encircled my thigh and squeezed hard. “But don’t worry, flower. I’ll still bribe you with a treat.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Filter
Briar
For cheese sticks, milkshakes, and warped support
“LET’S TALK ABOUT the people in our lives.”
That sounded about as much fun as juggling chainsaws in a ragweed field during allergy season.
Derrick leaned forward in his chair. “Everyone knows having a support system is key. Humans are social beings who crave interaction. But it’s important that those people we surround ourselves with aid our mental health not hinder it. Tell us someone who lifts you up…” He scanned the small group. “Meghan.”
“Uh, Ethan.” Her cheeks heated, tinging with pink. “He gets me.”
“Good. That’s important.” He gave her one of his signature sad smiles. “Frankie?”
“My girl and my mom. They don’t make me feel like shit for feeling like shit.”
“Feeling your emotions is vital. Jenna, what about you?”
“I’ve had to cut a lot of toxic people from my life. Like, a lot. I think my bestie Chelsea is, like, my anchor.”
“An anchor would weigh you down and drown you,” Jared pointed out.
“Oh. Right.” If Meghan’s cheeks had heated, then Jenna’s were a full-on fire. “Well, she helps me. She always listens and goes out of her way to do nice things for me.”
“What about you, Jared?” Derrick asked. “Who keeps you afloat?”
He tilted his head and thought for a moment before answering. “My boy Mac.”
“Don’t you mean your buoy Mac,” I joked without thinking.
I really should’ve thought.
Everyone but Jenna chuckled, so at least my corny humor was appreciated. But it also meant I’d inadvertently turned everyone’s focus my way.
“Who’s your person?” Derrick asked me.
Alexander.
I didn’t have to be a shrink to know that his name being the first to pop into my head said a lot.
“She’s lucky,” Jenna said. “It’s Dr. Dillon.”
“Let her answer for herself,” Derrick chided.
She wasn’t wrong by any means. It was just, for the first time in my life, I had two people. And I was betting I could call either of them for an effective pep talk.
I wasn’t ready to discuss my love life as if it were a talk show, so I went with my numero uno. “Yup. Aria.”
“Her career probably gives her a lot of understanding. That’s not just key or vital or important. It’s imperative.” He looked at all of us as he continued. “Think about your person. Do they understand you? Are they aware and mindful of your mental health?” “Too often, people try to hide their true selves and only show the world their best. They slap an Instagram filter on their life. Not only is that damaging to their own consciousness, it’s impossible to maintain. And when the filter comes off, it’s often worse than if they were open and honest from the start.”
Since I quantify my life in lies, half-truths, and evasions, it’s clear I suck at being honest.
And I’m the anti-7-Eleven—meaning I’m always closed.
Pressing my thumb into the barely-there A at my hip, my tense shoulders loosened at the sting.
But I’m getting better.
“On the flipside,” Derrick continued, his eyes turning somber—but still managing to somehow stay sad. “It’s important you don’t let another person dictate your happiness. You are in charge of your own emotions. You can’t be dependent on someone to give you fulfillment. Love comes from inside first.”
It was like listening to one of the meditation podcasts Dr. Linda had recommended. I never got far before falling asleep or switching to a true crime one because those were more soothing than banalities. Right then was no different. I hid a yawn even as his Live, Laugh, Love philosophy filled me with unease rather than optimism and empowerment.
My brain is so jacked.
The remainder of the time was filled by people talking about their problems or sharing about their week. Starting the session talking about something so positive worked on everyone but me, and there was less angst. Everyone’s moods seemed to be sunny rather than thunderstorms.
After we wrapped up, Derrick went through his one-on-one compliment filled goodbyes before reaching me. “It’s nice to see you smiling so much today, Briar.”
“Thanks.”
“I’ve talked with Dr. Linda. Do you have a second