help is more appreciated with physical training than mental at this point.” Grandfather shook his head with a grimace. “My mental talents are still feared by most here. They worry I’m searching for secrets or twisting their minds. It is difficult to train them when they hold onto those feelings.”
“They’ll realize the truth in time,” Ciarán assured him, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “You’ve already been more help than you realize.”
Grandfather’s smile was weary, but there nonetheless. “The children seem to enjoy their lessons, if nothing else. I just wish…”
Ciarán’s gaze softened. “That none of this was necessary. As grateful as I am for the help you’ve provided us, I, too, wish it wasn’t necessary.” He hesitated, glancing between us before sighing and rubbing his hair again. “I hadn’t yet had a chance to speak with you. I wanted to apologize.”
“Apologize?” I repeated blankly, trying to figure out what the man could have done that was worthy of an apology—his obnoxious music selections aside.
“If we had known the Council’s plans for your parents, I would have insisted we stop it,” he told me sincerely, his green eyes turning as hard as jade knives. “We had absolutely no intel regarding their capture.”
“Ciarán, there wasn’t a way to save them,” Grandfather replied softly. “I’ve gone over it in my mind repeatedly. If I had only checked in on them sooner, if I had spent more time at the Lodge, if Raphael had come to me with his concerns and allowed me to work with him…” He shook his head, staring off into the distance.
“They were your family. I would have tried,” Ciarán whispered, heat burning in his cheeks as he looked at the ground. It was so odd to see this side of the man, and I grasped onto his vulnerability, pushing the pain away.
“No, you would have exposed the rebellion.” I took a deep breath before forging on. “It was my fault.” My voice was colder than I’d intended, but at least it didn’t shake. We weren’t careful enough.” It was the first time I’d said the words out loud, and my heart pounded with the confession.
“No, Damien, it was Stepanov’s fault. Maldonado’s. Ishida’s,” Grandfather snapped with a growl in his tone, hinting at how close his Gargoyle was to the surface. “I mourn my son and my daughter-in-law every day.” His voice cracked, his cool exterior sliding aside here amongst those he trusted. “But it was not your fault, nor do I blame you for the circumstances that led to his death. Raphael did the best he could to protect you and yours while giving you this…” He motioned around him. “A chance at a rebellion. I mourn that I never managed what you all have. I also mourn that my name is so tied to theirs that I cannot be trusted, even here among the people my son died to protect.” Tears burned the backs of my eyes as I took in his somber expression and the deep breaths he drew in to try and maintain his composure. “However, I will honor them this way. I will see to their revenge, even if it isn’t by my own hands, but through the actions and plans I teach.” His gaze appeared lost as he stared into the sky. It was the closest to appearing weak I’d ever seen him, and it pulled at something deep inside me.
“Grandfather.” I reached out blindly, grasping his hand in mine and feeling the chill of his skin against my fingers. I was tired of these walls. Tired of hiding behind them. I pushed with everything I had, the bricks I surrounded myself with crumbling as I let him feel my fear, my pain, and my sorrow. I wound it together with my gratitude for how he had kept my mother and father from more pain, the strength he provided for me by being here at my side, and the hope I felt from seeing him every day. His dark eyes held mine, both of us blinking back the emotions we’d been holding at bay for the last two months. His gaze searched mine, seeming to look for something before he smiled and inclined his head.
“Well, if we’re going to make this a training session, I think we better move past the easy part,” he declared, squeezing my hand before crossing his arms over his chest. “Damien, I’m going to fulfill a promise I made to your father. I believe it’s a perfect time