the desire for. While I couldn’t explain what caused the headaches, I chalked it up to the stress of the rebellion and the factions’ constant bickering. It didn’t help that I’d ended up roped into many of their meetings, speaking as the leader of our group where it pertained to matters they needed our input on and working with Ciar to break up the tension that always infused the room—Ciarán with his humor and me with my logic and political training. At least all those hours my father had spent sculpting me to lead weren’t for naught.
Sadness pierced through me like an arrow, hitting the bullseye of my heart tried and true. It was still so hard to wrap my head around the fact that they were gone. Every day I expected them to walk through the door, my mother with a plate of cookies and my father with his wisdom and advice. Things hadn’t always been perfect between us, but they’d been good parents, despite their shortcomings with the Council. Separating my father from the Councilman had been difficult—a feat I was still trying to master—but I couldn’t simply overlook all the good memories because he’d made some mistakes… even if they were big ones.
“You okay?” Theo asked, coming up behind me. I’d been so lost in my thoughts, I hadn’t been paying attention to my surroundings, giving the Kraken the chance to sneak up on me. It didn’t happen often, and unfortunately for me, Theo knew that.
“Of course.” I waved him off, hoping he’d take my answer at face value.
He didn’t.
Rounding my seat, he plopped himself down in the hard kitchen chair next to me, plunking his coffee cup, a black and white mug with the silhouette of a kraken on it, onto the table.
“What aren’t you sharing?” He assessed me behind his black-rimmed glasses, eyes narrowed and seeing far too much for comfort.
“Nothing,” I hissed, keeping my voice down so I didn’t draw Ry’s attention.
Another zap worked through my frontal cortex this time, and I drew a sharp breath through my teeth. Pinching my nose, I dug the tip of my thumb and forefinger into the corners of my eyes, trying to relieve the pressure.
“Bloody hell,” Theo cursed, leaning in and keeping his voice quiet but serious. “Are you having headaches, D? Why haven’t you said anything?”
“Batman?” Nix’s sweet, feminine voice was the only thing that helped ease the ache, and I was half grateful and half mortified when she came and sat in my lap. I didn’t want my brothers to see my weakness, but I wanted Nix here with me. Having her close always helped.
Her lithe fingers went to my temples, applying pressure and rubbing in smooth, circular motions.
That feels nice, I murmured into her mind, while Ryder started to rant in the background. I was enjoying the sensation of her touch too much to tune in and truly pay attention, especially since I knew what he was going on about.
“... the test results have been inconclusive, but you still should have told me. Seriously, Damien, what if there’s something wrong, or something I could help fix? At least let me treat the pain you’re feeling.”
“Ryder, you know I’m always keen to do testing and solve a good mystery, but maybe we should call Gaspard instead. He’s bound to know more about what’s going on with Damien,” Theo reasoned, fidgeting with the mug in front of him as the hot liquid warmed his hands through the ceramic.
Ryder reached for me, but just before his hands made contact to assess what was wrong and offer me relief, part of the wall I always held around my mind shattered with the force of a tornado.
“Ah, fuck!” I bent in half, leaning over Nix. My fingers dug subconsciously into her hip and thigh, each hand gripping the shit out of her in my agony. She cried out in pain, but I was too lost to notice I was the one causing her distress. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!”
“Damien! D! Let her go!” Killian roared, his anger lashing me like licks from a whip. “You’re hurting her.”
“He’s hurting,” Nix gritted through clenched teeth. “Oh, God! Can you… can you feel that?” she whispered, and I knew then that she was feeling a fraction of the wrenching, heart-stopping pain invading my mind.
One by one, my brothers fell, some dropping to their knees, the others hunching over in place, as the rest of my mental wall disintegrated brick by brick.
Ah! Finally! At last!