children someday, though how many we would feasibly be able to handle was a different question altogether. Now that I had all my mates, something had shifted inside of me. I couldn’t say motherhood was something I’d have wanted if it had been with anyone else.
Playing along, I kept my voice to a whisper that would stay between Killian and me while I narrowed my gaze at him. I tried to keep up my facade of being mad, and threatened, “You chose the wrong side, Abra. Just see if you get any sex tonight. I know it’s your turn in my bed.”
Killian’s smile faltered at the edges, his eyes taking on heat as he stalked forward. I cocked a brow, forcing myself to stay still even while my instincts told me to step backward. Luckily, the kids had turned on each other with their snowball fight, leaving the two of us to have our grown-up moment alone.
“I guess I’ll just have to tease you until you change your mind,” he growled mercilessly. “Lick my way up your—”
“Kill!” I snapped, my eyes flying to the children, even though his voice was no more than a rasp in my ear.
He chuckled, the low, sexy sound taking up residence in my lower abdomen. Dammit. I couldn’t stay mad—pretend or otherwise—at him for long.
My Phoenix cooed her approval as Killian wrapped his arms around me, and I squeaked when the cold snow from my shirt pressed along my spine.
“Sorry.” Killian winced. “I was just playing. Probably shouldn’t have done that.”
“Are you kidding?” I let my Phoenix heat me up, drying the wet area of my shirt until I was comfortable once more. “I’m a Phoenix. I have superpowers. I wasn’t really mad.” I grinned, and Killian smirked down at me. I glanced sideways, trying to gauge if I could sneak in a kiss without grossing out the kids. Children were so finicky about these things, though I had a feeling this bunch would simply tease us rather than pretend our affection was icky to them. After growing up the way they did, they seemed to thrive on attention and love, so all of us gave them more of ourselves to help them find a new normal. Seeing them running around and playing like typical kids made my heart swell in my chest. I was already so protective of them, as were Ryder, Killian, Li Min, and Angela. I’d even seen Gaspard taking a keen interest in the children, spending time to train them. God, it was adorable to see them all lined up like a little karate class as he gave them instruction on fighting basics, not that any of us were going to allow them anywhere near the battle. Still, after what they’d been through, I think gaining that little bit of power back helped them feel in control.
I know it would have helped me feel less helpless, like I could have defended myself when I was younger. I’d tried many times over the years, but it had only ever seemed to enrage Michael more and make my beatings worse.
“What are you thinking about?” Killian gripped my chin and turned my face until I was staring up into troubled eyes. “Your face got dark and gloomy all of a sudden.”
I blinked rapidly, pushing the past away and reminding myself it was all over now. Michael was dead, and while I’d always have questions about what happened in my past—the truth about my mother’s death and how I’d come to be in Michael’s care, if you could even call it that—I was content enough to bury it in the background and move on, unsure if I’d ever have the answers my heart so desperately wanted.
My throat felt dry when I responded, “I was just thinking about how happy I am that these children got their second chance.”
“You were thinking about your past?”
I nodded as much as I could within Killian’s grasp. “No kid should ever have to live without snowball fights and smiles.” I shrugged while Killian studied me. “I feel protective over them now, like an aunt or even a big sister.”
“Or maybe a mom?” Killian questioned gently, his gaze so intent I got lost in the shimmering emerald depths.
“They’re not mine. I know I can’t keep them, so I try not to feel that way about them.” The admittance was shocking. Now that I’d said it out loud, I realized it was true. I wanted to shield these kids, protect them from