I was ridiculous. Out of nowhere I giggled. It was out of character, so I knew I had to further explain. “I’m sorry. It just made me think of the awful things we used to discuss at the table. Dad would get so mad he’d say we gave him indigestion. He wouldn’t even finish his plate.”
My mom snickered. “That’s because he has a weak stomach.”
“Okay, enough of the puke talk at the table,” Dad added. As I turned to look over at him I saw his eyes peering into mine. “After dinner you and I are going to have a serious conversation, Cam. You might already have a plan, but I have some things I want to make clear.”
My appetite was lost. I moved the food around on my plate, but never put another thing in my mouth. I could hear the chatter going on around me, but chose to put myself in an imaginary bubble to pretend I didn’t exist. Sitting in a room with my father, hearing what he was going to say to me, well I knew it wasn’t going to be anything good.
“Yes, sir.”
After the meal was finished, my dad escorted me to the front porch. Instead of sitting, we both stood looking out at the open field. “Are you using drugs?”
Caught off guard I answered quickly. “What? No! Never.”
“I just don’t understand how you of all people could be so careless. What the hell were you thinking?”
“Obviously I was thinking with my heart.”
“Don’t play sarcastic with me. You know better than to get involved with a married man.”
“Really? From what I’ve heard you did the same thing with Mom.”
His eyes lit up. Suddenly my strict father looked as if he wanted to harm me. “Don’t you dare disrespect your mother with your nonsense. She was in a volatile relationship she couldn’t get out of.”
“I was told James was in a loveless marriage for convenience. Had I known he was lying I never would have gotten involved.”
My dad wiped his face and shook his head. “You don’t understand, Cam. We wanted better for you. Now you’ve got regrets. You might have jeopardized your future. Doesn’t that mean something to you?”
“How could you ask me that? Of course it matters. Do you know what it’s like to have everything in order only to watch it fall apart. Now I have the b…” I gasped, realizing what I was about to reveal.
“Now you have what? Is there something you aren’t telling us? Don’t you dare tell me there’s more to this story.”
“I’d rather not discuss any of it. Dad, I love you, but it’s my life. I’m an adult.”
“Then start acting like one!” He was raising his voice, as if it got the point across better. “I want this problem of yours resolved within the week.”
My lips were trembling, my eyes burning as I fought back my tears. I couldn’t resolve a pregnancy within a week. If this was his way of telling me I wouldn’t be welcome at home, I didn’t know what I was going to do. The fact was, even if I got my schooling in order, I’d have to take time off to deliver and care for my child.
“Daddy, I’m so sorry, but that’s not going to happen.” It was now or never. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. If they were going to kick me out to teach me a lesson, I needed to know sooner than later.
“What do you mean? What’s the problem? Make some calls. Get this shit worked out.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Explain!”
My hands were shaking. I felt like the little bit I ate for dinner was coming back up. My stomach knotted, and I felt dizzy. I placed both hands on the railing and looked down at the ground. “I’m pregnant.”
His voice was almost squeaky. “What?”
“I’m pregnant,” I whispered. “And I’m not getting an abortion.”
“This isn’t happening. Do you hear me? I won’t let you throw your life away.” He turned to head for the door. “Does your mother know about this?”
“No. I only told you.”
“You’re getting this taken care of, Cammie. I won’t let you give up your future.”
“This isn’t your decision,” I fought. “It’s mine. I won’t get an abortion. I don’t care if you hate me. I don’t care if you kick me out on the street. I won’t kill a child to further my career, and there’s not a thing you can do about it.”
I was so upset I had to get away from him.