there. I got down on my hands and knees and peered down at the hardwood floor. In all four corners were divots. We’d had a few rough encounters, but this would have happened after years of wear, not months into a new relationship. For the most part our lovemaking was gentle. These marks would have required hardcore fucking, which was something I assumed James was against, since we’d never divulged in it.
When I heard the door downstairs, I quickly got to my feet, hoping and praying these assumptions were all in my head; a direct reflection of Jasmine’s overzealous imagination. James couldn’t be the man she’d suggested. I would have sensed it. Instead I’d come to love a man who put me on a pedestal and promised the world if only I’d wait until his marital affairs were in order. I had to believe I was the only one, because if my mind swayed in another presumption I’d be left broken and in pieces. That sort of betrayal was unforgivable, especially in our circumstance. I’d become involved with him on the notion that he’d never done this before; that his marriage was all but over with the exception of the paperwork. If he’d been lying. If this was some sort of scheme he’d been running for years, I’d rip off his balls and hang them where all could see.
My eyes widened when he entered the room. He held out his arms and pulled me in them, kissing the top of my head and leaving his lips to linger there. “It’s been a long day. I’m glad to see you. I needed this.”
I wiggled free. “Did you?”
“Yes. Why would you say it like that?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess my mind is playing tricks on me. I overheard someone today talking about a teacher who’d been involved with his students. I just need to make sure it wasn’t you they were speaking of.”
“Who was it?” He didn’t answer my question, but turned it around on learning the culprit. “Something like this could ruin a career.”
“It’s a good thing it’s not you then, right?” I was baiting him.
He seemed confused, but quickly responded. “Of course not. You’re the only woman I’ve ever been involved with outside of my marriage. Why would you assume it’s me?”
“Sometimes I worry. I don’t want to be in this alone, James. I need to know we have a future.” Hearing him say it was believable. He stared into my eyes like he was pleading to be trusted.
His kiss was ravenous, his hold intense. With strong arms he lifted me up, taking on my weight with ease. My legs wrapped around his waist as he carried me to the bed, only releasing me when I was positioned beneath him. He removed his shirt and joined me, hovering over as he started unbuttoning mine.
I needed to tell him the truth he deserved to know there was a little life inside of me growing. I decided to wait until after we were through reassuring each other nothing was going to come between us.
This was my future.
I was going to be a mother, and nothing could change that. Since I knew James was looking for a way out of his marriage, I wrapped the test in a plastic bag and shoved it in my purse. Once he saw that we were going to have a child everything would change. We’d finally be able to be together, because if I knew him like I assumed I did, he’d move Heaven and Earth for us to raise the child together.
I began considering the changes he’d have to make in his life. First and foremost, he would need to transfer to another university. We’d find a small apartment to start out in while I was still in school. Once I graduated, my income would supplement our monthly funds enough to afford a larger home for our child to grow.
In my mind everything was going to be okay. I replayed it a dozen times, each one leaving me optimistic. James was in love with me. He said I was the best thing to ever happen to him. Surely that was a sign of how much he’d be willing to change for the sake of our future.
When it came time tell him the news I stood in front of him with a blank face. For the life of me the truth wouldn’t come out. It didn’t help when he was irritated about something that had