bother you knowing how much I want to be inside of you?”
Parts of my body were suddenly active, reminding me how much time had gone by since I’d been with a man. “You can’t say things like this.”
“I’m telling the truth.”
I headed to the couch and sat down, distancing us more until I was able to gather my thoughts. “I shouldn’t have come tonight. I wanted to tell you in person how this was never going to happen.”
He came to kneel in front of me, his palms landing on either side of my legs. “I’ve never done this before, so I can imagine how difficult it would be to trust me. You can’t deny our connection, Cammie. I know you feel it. Every time you’re close I can sense you. I need to know what it is about you that’s so special.”
“I’m just a normal girl, struggling to get by. There are a ton of other women with my same qualities.”
He laughed at me. “You must not own a mirror. I’ve never met anyone as beautiful as you are.”
“You’re too old for me.”
“What’s age? Really? You’re going to use that as an excuse?” When his hands came up and touched me I inhaled deeply, hoping I could hold my breath until he let go, but they moved up my thighs slowly, precisely applying enough pressure to set me off. “I won’t hurt you, Cammie. I’m scared too. I’m scared I might find something I’ve been missing my entire life.”
I was twenty-three years old, fighting to keep my grip on life, and now this was being thrown at my feet.
“Let’s talk hypothetical. Say I allow you to touch me, more even, where would it get us? What would I have to gain from it?”
His smirk was discerning. I knew he’d have some smart-ass reply, so I swallowed the lump in my throat and prepared for it to blow me away.
“You’d be satisfied beyond your deepest desires. I’d make sure I was the best you ever had. Hypothetically, of course.”
“This would be a lot easier if you weren’t touching me.”
He let go, lifting his hands in the air. “I wouldn’t want to deter your decision making.”
“I’m not easy.” If he thought for one second he could sleep with me without effort, he was dead wrong.
“I wouldn’t want you if I thought you were.” Of course he’d say that.
“I don’t want a relationship.” It was true. Relationships equaled complications in my life. I didn’t have room for them.
“I don’t want trouble.” Which meant he didn’t want to be discovered and have to answer to his wife or her father.
“I’ll let you kiss me, but only because I need to prove what you think is between us doesn’t exist. If I feel nothing, I want you to leave me alone about it. You aren’t to push or mention this again. Are we on the same page?”
He nodded, his hands coming back down over my knees. “Anything else?”
“Once I prove this is all in your head, I want you to find someone else to help you grade papers. The sooner this little fantasy of yours is over, the faster I can get back to my studies.”
“Or, you could like it.”
“I doubt it. You’re just another guy, right?”
“Perhaps.” He leaned forward, bringing his lips close to mine. “Or you’re in for a rude awakening.”
Once his mouth was pressed against mine I knew I couldn’t fight him. I closed my eyes and fell into the kiss, the most passionate, electric, satisfying kiss I’d ever experienced. His tongue worked a circular pattern around mine, gently brushing over my teeth as he pulled away. He came back in a second time, sucking on my bottom lip, and then mingling our tongues again. Within seconds he’d proven his point, and also made every inch of my body come to life. My toes tingled. My fingertips went numb. The tips of my nipples hardened, brushing against the fabric of my bra. Let’s not even discuss what happened between my legs. The heat radiating was probably evident from where he was crouched down in front of me. Finally I had to pull away. I couldn’t catch my breath, and I definitely couldn’t look into those deep indigo eyes, because I knew he’d see right through me. “Just what I suspected. Nothing there.”
James began laughing. “Yeah. Nothing at all.”
He stood abruptly, leaving me to sort out my thoughts while heading over to the opposite side of his desk. He took a seat, never