the envelope in her hand. She frowns at it and then at me. I say nothing, so she finally looks inside at the five grand in hundred dollar bills. Eyes widening, she tries to hand it back.
“I don’t want this.”
“My daughter is living with you. If you need to pay for something, now you can. We’ll talk about regular support when you get back.”
“I don’t need money,” she says, again trying to return the envelope.
Crossing my arms, I refuse to take it. “I’d feel better knowing you have money.”
“I’d feel better without it.”
“Bullshit. You’re not working. I don’t want you worrying about paying for shit when you should be focused on your daughters.”
“I’m living rent-free at the house,” she says in a voice laced with emotion. “I don’t pay for any of the bills. The last time I spent money was when I took Desi out to dinner. It was under twenty. I don’t need your money.”
“Well, let’s say you and I never see each other again. Imagine if a fucking meteor falls on the Woodlands, killing everyone. I’m gone from your life for good. Wouldn’t you be happy to have a little cash stashed away for when Carina is older?”
Forgetting to hide behind her pleasant smile, Lana scowls darkly as if I’m mental.
“I’m not used to my child being away from Elko,” I try to explain when she doesn’t respond. “I’ll feel more secure, knowing you have cash for expenses and emergencies.”
Lana looks at the envelope and then deflates. “I feel like a whore, getting paid.”
Now I frown. “Doesn’t Desi’s father pay support?”
“No, but she’s taken care of by my family.”
“That’s not how it’s supposed to work.”
Lana sighs, remaining offended by the gesture. “Okay.”
I hear Lineke outside the door, telling the girls to say goodbye. Despite the awkwardness between Lana and me, I still kiss her before she leaves. One little taste to keep me going for the week. Hopefully, she’ll return next weekend, and we’ll figure things out. If not, that kiss might have to last me a long fucking time.
PART 3: SHASTA HAS HER SAY
LANA
Bronco’s kisses make promises his heart isn’t planning on honoring. I can’t tell if he’s teasing me or clueless over what he wants. Either way, I’m left craving his touch and glad to create a little distance. Especially after he hands me a ton of cash. I feel like a whore he’s discarding.
Yet I don’t want to leave Bronco. I’m addicted to knowing he’s nearby. Yet saying goodbye to Sidonie proves even more difficult. She holds on to me with one hand and grips Desi with the other.
“Desi has school,” I explain when Sidonie begins to cry.
“There’s a school here.”
Bronco tries to comfort his daughter, but she’s blind to him. She only sees me.
“What if we come up on Friday instead of Saturday?” I suggest, negotiating an exit that won’t tear up this child’s heart.
“What time?” she asks and chokes back a sob.
“After Desi gets out of school. I’ll pick her up and drive here. Would that be okay, Bronco?”
Hearing his name, the man I can’t normally read is currently an open book. When his kid suffers, he does too. His gaze reveals a raw nerve as he tries to calm Sidonie. He tells her that we can come up whenever we want. I promise we’ll be back on Friday before dinner.
“You can sleep in my bed,” Sidonie says to Desi, who smiles.
“One day, I’ll bring Zathura, and the dogs can be friends.”
Relenting to her current reality, Sidonie lets go of us and turns to her father. Bronco gives me one last look before I hurry Desi out the door. I hear Sidonie crying behind us and asking to see Carina again.
Mom’s already in the car with the baby, and she barely waits for us to snap our seat belts before she pulls out of the drive.
“Best to rip off the Band-Aid,” Mom says as we near the front gate.
Desi looks at her little sister tucked in the car seat and then smiles at me. “Sidonie let me play with all her toys.”
“I’m glad you had fun.”
“Can she come to the house and play with my toys?”
“I don’t know. Bronco doesn’t like Shasta.”
“How come?”
“I don’t know.”
“Can I bring my toys here so Sidonie can play with them?”
“A few of them, yes.”
Desi bounces in her seat. “Sidonie says she’s my friend. I can sleep in her bed and play with her toys. We’re going to swim lots next weekend. She said so.”
Overwhelmed by my