Lana, I don’t know how I’d handle any of this panic. She reminds me of how soon Summer will visit. How we can fly up whenever we miss her too much. That our daughter is strong and smart. How I wanted my children to have more than I did. And finally, she just holds my hand and promises the panic will fade, and my pain over Summer’s distance will get easier.
Lana never lies to me. I know she can if she wants. She’s got the poker face for it, but I believe she always stays square with me. That’s why I trust her soothing words. Not because I feel them in my heart. Only because I believe Lana would never steer me wrong.
And Summer does visit. She frequently sends photos and videos. She talks online to us a few times a week. I’m proud to see how confident she is despite living in a new place with new people.
“You gave her that,” Lana says after one call when Summer shares how she went on a walking tour with a few friends. “The chance to live in a vibrant city isn’t something every girl could afford. You worked hard, and you raised her right. I know you worried about not making every right decision as a father. But you can’t deny she turned out to be a strong, bright woman.”
“I appreciate the pep talk,” I whisper, holding her tight. “However, we have to agree to keep the younger three girls in Elko forever. Seems like a fair compromise.”
Lana just smiles. We both know Sidonie and Desi are likely to stick close to home. They love their family and this community.
These days, Desi and Sidonie ride their bikes without supervision all over the Woodlands. They’re fully in their fussy early-teenage phase, but they still make it home before dark.
And they remain best friends. I catch them giggling all the time, just like when they first met. Of course, now they won’t share their funny secrets with me. Teenage girls can’t help playing coy with their parents, I guess.
Carina will have her own secrets one day, but she’s still young enough to think I’m the coolest man in the world. She isn’t clingy like Sidonie or always smiling like Desi. Of all my girls, Carina looks most like me. She wears a serious expression a lot, even when she’s watching a goofy kid’s show. Though she isn’t a particularly serious kid, Carina often rocks the “Boss Man” scowl, as my sisters refer to it.
Years ago, I told Lana how I didn’t want a son. I feared my face on a child would be like seeing my father. I got that anyway with Carina. She has her mom’s lips and jaw. Yet when her eyes focus on me sometimes, and she isn’t wearing a smile, I see my old man. Well, I guess, I’m just seeing me.
And it’s not as bad as I thought. Looking at a young Bronco doesn’t take me back to the pain of my childhood. It’s as if I’m fixing things for that kid by making Carina’s life better. Every time I make her smile, I’m putting to rest more of the resentment I felt as a kid.
This little girl changed my life. Not just by helping me deal with my past by seeing it on her pretty face. She’s also the reason Lana returned to me. I don’t even want to imagine what life would have been like without her. She’s mine in a way no one else is, and I realize now I’d been craving that kind of closeness for a long time.
When we’re in a room full of our friends, Lana only sees me. When her heart is hurting, I’m the only one who can truly soothe it. We never get bored of each other. I enjoy sitting silently next to her, feeling her feeling me right back.
One day, the girls will create families of their own, and I’ll become a second thought. After years with a new president, the club is bound to view me as the past.
But Lana will still see only me. I know that without her saying a word. Lana Maude Leroux Parrish promises everything I need every single time she smiles.
THE END
“TITAN” SNEAK PEEK
EEMC #2
Coming: Winter 2020/2021
Anders has known only pain in his life. Years ago, he got a fresh start when he joined the Elko Executioners Motorcycle Club. But his heart remained hollow until he met a strange woman living in an even stranger cult in his new hometown.
Pixie doesn’t know to fear a man like the huge biker. She grew up in a world outside of the norm. With Anders, she sees only possibilities and a man in need of love.
Yet their budding relationship puts a target on Pixie’s family and sets the stage for a war between her cult and his club. Can a man steeped in pain and a woman dripping with eccentricities find happiness together without destroying everyone they love?
DAMAGED SERIES-RELATED BOOKS READING ORDER
Note: These books are written so they can be read as standalones, but the list below is the preferred order regarding character introductions.
Damaged 1-7 (Sunday Morning is a prequel while In the Wind takes place a decade after book 7)
Ramsey Security 1-3 (book 3 links the most to the other series and introduces Angus Hayes)
Junkyard Dog
Serrated Brotherhood MC 1-3
Rawkfist MC 1-3
Right Amount of Wrong (second generation Damaged novel)
White Horse 2-4 (second generation)
Reapers MC: Ellsberg Chapter 1-3 (second generation)
Reapers MC: Conroe Chapter 1-3 (second generation) (bks 1 & 2 take place prior to Ellsberg bk3)
Reapers MC: Shasta Chapter 1-3 (second generation (bk1 takes place before Ellsberg, bk 2 & 3 take place before Ellsberg bk3)
EEMC 1-3 (Bk1 follows Shasta Chapter Bk3)
***The Little Memphis MC, Rawlins Heretics MC, and Spent Shell series, along with my standalone books, are currently unconnected to the Damaged timeline.
ABOUT BIJOU
Living in Indiana with my three sweet sons, three wacky cats, and one super mom, I love horror movies, Call of Duty, Dead Meat, and sitcoms canceled before their time.
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