I?” He blinks. “Sorry.”
“Don’t worry,” Daniel says to me, “he’s just searching your soul is all. I can’t believe old Colbs really did it. He told us he was going to hire you, but I figured he’d have you down in the mailroom or something. Executive assistant? How’s it working out?”
There’s a question I don’t know how to answer, not after this morning. Not after knowing Colby was going off to defend my honor against Jimi, like some kind of white knight slaying my enemies for me.
“It’s good,” I say, sweeping my hand over the desk as though to display all the work I’m doing.
Hawk nods at this. “I’m glad.”
“Me too,” says Daniel. “I was a little afraid he was only hiring you to… Well, you know.”
“Daniel!” Hawk exclaims, jabbing the older man in the ribs with his elbow.
“Ow! What? I’m just saying! We’re all men of the world here, and we all know what Colby’s like. Well, maybe you don’t, Finn, but he’s—”
“I swear, I will elbow you again,” says Hawk. “There is nothing wrong with Colby.”
“When did I say there was anything wrong with him? He’s my best friend, Hawk. But you know how he is. The man can’t maintain an emotional connection for five seconds. It’s nothing against him, it’s just a fact of life. It’s in his blood. The man can stay up for 48 hours working out a contract, but try to get him to talk about a feeling and he rushes off in thirty seconds.”
I cannot describe how massively uncomfortable I am, hearing all this…and yet, strangely I’m also touched, because Daniel isn’t bad-mouthing Colby, he really seems to care about him…and is worried that I will get hurt.
I am so tempted to tell them that it’s okay, that Colby and I are together—well, as together as we can be under the circumstances, even though I wish there were something more solid, some symbol that we were really committed—even though he did just rush off to slay my dragons—
The point is, my emotions are apparently a fucking mess, and I’m on the verge of telling his best friends about it, even though it’s not my right to spring the news on them.
Hawk saves me. “You’re going to have to forgive Daniel. He’s a motivational speaker, and his whole shtick is learning to speak your truth…which he takes to mean that everybody has to listen to him babble on and on.”
“If you’d ever like to discover your own truth,” Daniel says, slipping a card out of his pocket and putting it on the desk, “feel free to sign up for one of my seminars. Any friend of Colby’s gets a discount.”
Hawk rolls his eyes at that. “We should let Finn get back to his job.”
“Right, right.” Daniel sighs. “Listen, I’m sorry if I’ve made you uncomfortable. Maybe I just feel a little overprotective of Colby. He’s been through a lot, and I don’t want to see him hurt—or you hurt—or anyone, really. Maybe Hawk. Someone can hurt him, that’d be fine.”
“It’s nice to meet you both,” I say, my voice faltering as I rise from the desk to see them out.
“Tell him we came by?”
“Will do.”
“This is your office?” says Polly. “Dang, Finn, you’ve really arrived. Although I hate the way he’s got you working late nights, I never get to see you anymore.”
“This office is pretty sweet, but nothing like Colb—ahem, Mr. Raines’. You want to see it?”
“Your boss doesn’t mind you showing me around?”
“He’s out,” I say, and try my best not to wonder how his visit with Jimi is going. I want to know…but I don’t want to think about it. It’s like on a sunny day when there’s a stormcloud on the horizon. You know it’s coming, but you have to enjoy yourself while you can.
It’s just that he’s been gone a really long time now.
I kind of expected him to come in after Hawk and Daniel had left…but no.
Having Polly around makes things seem so normal. When I’m around Colby, everything is heightened, it’s all turned up to 11. It’s kind of nice to have my friend here, bringing me back to earth. He makes all the appropriate oohs and aahs about Colby’s office, and of course I don’t tell him what we’ve been spending all our time doing in here.
“So this is pretty steady work?” he asks hopefully. I know what he means.
Yet, oddly, I don’t have an answer for him.
Mary and the baby are doing well. They’re having