want something to work, you make it work. You’re in or you’re out, Jonah. I just need to know sooner than later. Once you’ve had a chance to think about it.”
You’re in or you’re out. Bam.
We stared at each other. Eye to eye. My dark gray ones trying to burn into his honey-colored browns. Like we were having a competition. A competition that I sure as hell wasn’t going to lose at. Not when Mo was at stake.
Grandpa Gus had been a great white shark for me. Peter a fucking hippo that killed more people on the down-low than a lion. And they had raised me to believe in myself. To defend myself. I’d been called Lenny the Lion for half my life for a reason. I’d turn into Freddy Kruger if I had to. I had no problem being someone’s worst nightmare.
So when his gaze didn’t stray for even a second… I had to narrow my eyes.
And shit got even more real when he kept on looking at me as he let out a deep exhale and spoke in a voice I had never heard from him before. A voice that didn’t belong to the smiling, soft-spoken man I had met who hadn’t known any French and had basically blushed when I had translated for him.
Jonah Collins said, gaze unflinching, “There’s no choice, sweetheart.”
It was my turn to swallow, and it had nothing to do with that dumbass term of endearment he’d used.
“If you say she’s my daughter, she’s my daughter.”
Something hard thumped inside my chest. Something I didn’t want to look at too closely.
“I’m sorry, Lenny,” Jonah said. “I’m sorry I didn’t know.”
My ears started to buzz like they were debating whether or not to believe what he was saying.
As if he knew what I was thinking, he continued on. “I’m sorry I’m just now getting here, but I know now. There’s nothing for me to consider. I’ll be a part of her life, if you’ll let me,” he ended in a voice that had, word by word, started to sound more like him… the intensity in his eyes didn’t waver for a moment. Like we were back at this game, and he was intent on not losing either.
If he was trying to get on my good side… it wasn’t working.
I knew why he was here, and that was the last bond left between us. So I wasn’t going to think about that. Nope.
“There’s quite a bit we need to talk about, I know, but I’d like to start with seeing....” Jonah swallowed, and those nearly almond-shaped eyes widened again. “Seeing my daughter.” He took a breath. “My Mo… if that’s all right.”
Seeing his Mo. His daughter.
I hated his accent. I really did. Him too. More than ever especially when my heart went whack with the way he said those words.
His voice had definitely wobbled, and I told my chest it better not be a bitch and wuss out on me. So he was getting emotional. He wouldn’t be getting emotional if he had just called me back.
If he hadn’t been such an ass.
What I wouldn’t have given to hear those words out of him while I’d been pregnant, even if he didn’t want to be together. I would have settled for that. I would have been okay with just knowing he would be there, instead of leaving this weight around my shoulders that had made me angry and rejected. It wasn’t like we had actually been boyfriend and girlfriend… officially… back in France. We had been together, but I’d never thrown around a title, and neither had he. I would have understood if we’d drifted apart eventually. But at least he wouldn’t have been cut cold turkey from my life.
I wasn’t going to think about that.
“Of course you can see her, but I’m not joking. I need you to be committed to her if you’re planning on being a part of her life. You’re not buying a car you can trade in later on,” I repeated, needing him to understand.
I would kill him myself, and if I didn’t, I knew people who knew people.
And Grandpa Gus was a straight thug sometimes, and I didn’t want to know the people he knew.
But Jonah didn’t hesitate. “I am,” he confirmed with a tip of his chin.
Well….
I wasn’t going to hold my breath that he wouldn’t change his mind. As much as I wouldn’t have minded insulting him by reminding him that he didn’t have the greatest track record, I