the other before he drew back and beamed me with an enormous smile I’d remember for the rest of my life. Jonah Hema Collins wrapped an arm around the back of my neck and drew me into that wide chest, and I let him. His voice soft in my ear as he informed me, “If I don’t ask you, you can’t tell me no, love.”
Three days later, when we got married in front of a justice of the peace, with Jonah holding my hands tight, with Grandpa Gus holding Mo on his shoulders beside Peter, with Luna, her husband, her sister, daughter, and my grandpa’s friend and his wife, I smiled so much my cheeks hurt.
The very next day, when Mo and I dropped him off at the airport, and he gave us a hug that lifted us into the air as he told us how much we were loved, and how there was nothing we couldn’t handle together, I made sure I was smiling then too…
Even though it broke my heart.
Chapter 22
Subject: Please
Lenny DeMaio:
Wed 4/29/2019 1:29 p.m.
to Jonah Collins
I’m about to give up on you.
Please. Just call me back.
“Somebody’s distracted.”
I blinked up from the salad I’d been poking at for the last few minutes. “Yeah. I’ve got my mind on some things,” I told her, stabbing at a falafel before shoving the whole thing into my mouth.
I was distracted. Mainly by a six-foot-five man who weighed two hundred and fifty pounds year-round, was too handsome for words, and had a heart of fucking gold. A person I enjoyed being around. A person that I loved.
The guy who’d put a ring on it before leaving.
The guy who’d video messaged me every day over the last two weeks since he’d left. Who had sent me multiple texts every day with pictures of what he was doing, what he was eating, of his teammates, the hotel room he was living out of. The man I missed the shit out of, mostly because I knew how far away he was.
I’d bet anyone would be distracted with that over their head.
And heart.
And fucking soul.
Luna frowned over at me as she slowly chewed part of the huge grilled chicken salad she had put together not even fifteen minutes ago when we’d met up at our favorite salad buffet place for lunch. She was still frowning a moment later when she swallowed what she’d been eating and asked in a way that was way too careful for how long we’d known each other, “Want to talk about it?”
There was my Luna. Always there and never too into prying.
That thought felt like a tiny little sliver off my heart as I thought—again—about me leaving everything and everyone behind. Including her. The best best friend with boobs I’d ever had.
“I can keep a secret,” she kept going. “I’ll only tell Rip. Promise.”
That almost made me snicker. But not even her being herself was enough to ease my heartache… and confusion… and how torn I was about going with him to Japan.
Leave my job.
Leave Grandpa Gus.
Leave Peter.
Leave Luna.
Leave Luna’s family.
Leave Maio House.
Leave our house in the Heights.
Leave… everything behind except for Mo and Jonah with a little j.
Was I really considering it?
And did I have to feel like such a fucking traitor for thinking about it as much as I had?
The thing that got under my skin the most though was that the more I thought about it, the more I realized I didn’t exactly feel scared when I contemplated leaving.
The biggest problem was that I couldn’t imagine my fucking life without Grandpa Gus and Peter.
And how could I just leave Maio House months after I’d taken it over?
How the hell was I supposed to choose between the loves of my life?
Something soft landed on my shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “You look so sad, Lenny. What is it?”
I glanced up at Luna and raised my eyebrows as I gave her a brittle smile, dropping my fork into the huge metal bowl. I wasn’t that hungry. I couldn’t remember there ever being a time, other than when I was getting over being sick, where I wasn’t hungry. If that wasn’t a huge fucking sign that there was something wrong with me, I didn’t know what else would be.
“I’m not sad,” I told her. “Just… conflicted.”
She fucking took it. “Because of Jonah?”
I nodded.
“Because you miss him a lot?”
She’d known all about him leaving; we had seen each other the day after he’d flown to Japan. Plus, we’d kept up our