his early days, when the beast first emerged, I hadn’t learned how to clean up after him. Some of his victims were left for the authorities—and SF—to find. I cringe. Make that all of his victims that I hadn’t burned.
During the next hour, I’m forced to relive some of the beast’s most brutal killing sprees. I continually seek out Brianna, but her attention doesn’t waver from the display.
I’m not surprised. It’s a captivating horror show, but agony rips through me. I hate myself more than anything in this moment. My mate is having to relive my awful crimes because of what I allowed my beast to become.
I growl in frustration and shake my head, but that movement causes me to finally see the other attendees in the court. My old pack’s alpha is here with his wife, Daria. She meets my gaze and holds it. I try to communicate with my eyes how grateful I am to her. She saved my mate. I owe Daria so much, more than she will ever know, and I know I will never be able to repay her.
She watches me silently. Her brow furrows together, and I can tell that my clear gaze and steadfast behavior is perplexing her. After all, what kind of psychotic rogue is calm and thankful?
My parents sit beside Daria and Logan. My heart shatters when I witness the pain on my mother’s face while my father’s steely expression stays steadfast, however, his eye twitches. As much as he’s trying to hide his pain, he’s not. My brothers sit beside them, heads down. Fuck. I stole money from Pete not even a month ago. What they must think of me.
A few other members from my former pack are also present, and when I see the woman at the end, my lips part.
Cali’s here. My old flame—the girl I dated a few years ago, for longer than any other woman, has come all the way to the fae lands to see my trial.
I scoff. She’s probably hoping that I burn.
I take a deep breath and focus on Brianna again. Her face is still pale, and her bottom lip quivers.
My wolf howls forlornly. I can feel his confusion and regret. A part of me wonders how much he remembers of his beast-like days. Sometimes I think it’s all a bad dream to him, but he senses Brianna’s turmoil now, and it’s tearing him up.
He howls again before curling up and trying to hide deep inside me. He’s trying to escape a past that they won’t let us forget.
I hang my head mournfully. His shame and regret are exactly how I feel.
Chapter 38 – Brianna
When court finally adjourns for the day, Collin is whisked away by the witches before I have a chance to look at him again. My stomach is roiling. Everything I’ve seen today and witnessed—it makes me sick.
“Are you okay?” my grandmother asks.
I nod quickly, but horror still swims through my veins. “Yeah. It’s just a lot to take in. I mean I knew that his beast had killed men and women, he’d told me that, but other than—” I bite my lip. I almost said other than Declan and the rogue who wanted to kill me, I’d never witnessed that side of him.
She pats my hand, and her expression conveys she feels similar to me. It was hard to look at the pictures. But as horrific as those crimes were, I remind myself that Collin’s psychotic wolf committed them, not Collin.
I cling to that. I need to. Fated or not, I couldn’t stand by his side if he’d willingly killed people, but I can forgive his actions if they were committed solely by his wolf. I take a deep breath and remember that.
As much as I ache for the beast’s victims, I still love Collin.
And I know the beast’s changed and those days are behind him. His wolf isn’t a beast anymore, and Collin regrets his actions that resulted in his wolf turning rogue. He wishes it never happened, and if he could go back in time and undo it all, I know he would.
But that doesn’t absolve him of his crimes. I can only hope that the courts are more lenient if they see that he’s remorseful, and I wish with all of my heart that they spare him the death penalty.
I try to imagine what the rest of my life will be like if he’s allowed to live. Most likely, we’ll spend it apart—him imprisoned and me