haven’t been with a woman like that in a very long time for good reason. It’s too dangerous now since the beast is so strong, which means sex isn’t an option.
So why are you watching her if nothing can come from this?
I ignore that little voice in the back of my mind, even though my conscience poses a very good question.
The beast churns in my belly again, and his interest shifts from her throat to what’s between her legs, which makes my attention shift there too. I feel him goading me, encouraging me to take that from her.
“Shut the fuck up!” I hiss. Anger stirs in my gut. I’ve been battling him over this all week. Since the beast has realized that my obsession with her isn’t waning, and because I’ve managed to stop him from shifting and killing during the past week, he’s turning desperate.
His addiction to human flesh is pulling at him like a drug, but even though I was a prick to a lot of women before the beast turned me rogue I’ve never raped a woman.
Never.
And I don’t intend to start now despite his suggestions.
Saliva pools into my mouth again when the beast’s appetite gnaws at me. He howls inside my belly, flailing against his restraints.
A shudder wracks my body, then another.
“Shit!” I whisper.
It’s the third time today he’s shaken my control. He’s testing me—always testing me.
I clench my teeth, but hairs sprout on the backs of my hands. My jaw crunches as bones realign, elongating as the shift sets in.
I slam my back against the dumpster, the cold concrete wall in the alley pressing against my side.
But I can’t stop him. I fall onto all fours.
“No!” I whisper, but the word sounds guttural and gravely.
I drag in a breath and concentrate as a drop of sweat falls onto the black grimy asphalt under my hands. Another groan stifles my chest.
No!
I wrestle the growing darkness. Already, the beast is invading my mind, cutting off my thoughts that are still human as his bloodlust and the need to hunt takes over. Veins sprout on my forearms as my hands ball into fists.
Stop him, Collin! You have to stop him!
I clench my partially shifted teeth together so tightly I fear my jaw will crack. Trembles shake my frame as the beast and I fight. Another bead of sweat drops to the ground, but the hair slowly recedes from my arms.
I just barely rein him in, and I breathe a sigh of relief.
Still, it was close. Too close. And it’s daytime nonetheless.
Get out of here before it happens again.
I take off at a run down the alleyway. Despite my heavy boots, my footsteps are silent.
When I reach the end of the alley, I vault over the ten-foot wall like I’m hopping a puddle on the sidewalk. On the other side, I land silently before launching into another run, skirting the shadows like Death himself.
It takes me fifteen minutes to get back to the manhole leading into the sewer. None of the humans above have detected me in the three weeks I’ve called this place home, but the rats do. More than a few of the repulsive rodents have become a midnight snack when the beast gets hungry.
Humid, stank air surrounds me when I jump off the bottom of the ladder into a narrow tunnel.
I don’t let the putrid smells bother me, though. I’ve slept in worst, and fuck knows, I’ll sleep in worse again. Inhabiting places like city sewers are the only way to exist in my current situation. Not only is the beast unstable, but I can’t afford anything else.
How my life has changed.
When I first left my pack, I had an apartment, a job, and I still had ties to the Ward money. But I was determined to leave the Wyoming pack behind me and make my own life, which meant saying goodbye to my family’s assets.
My first job in the human world had gone fine initially, but after a year without my pack, my wolf began to change.
I grind my teeth, remembering my arrogance and stupidity. The beginning changes were subtle—subtle enough that I didn’t appreciate what was happening, and by the time I did, it was too late. My wolf had already begun his irreversible metamorphosis into the beast.
And now, there’s no stopping him.
My eyes adjust to the dim lighting in the sewer, and after a few minutes, the stench filters to the back of my senses. I let the beast out more but am