me and walks away, the floor in the hallway creaking a little.
By the time it’s really over, I’m tired again. After I brush my teeth, I stagger to the bedroom and pull on clothes, needing a drink to soothe my burning throat before I go back to bed.
Dad’s got an Eno on the counter, already mixed and sizzling. One look at it and my cheeks sour again. “I can’t.” I shudder and walk to the sink, getting a fresh glass of cold water. I take tiny sips and lean against the counter.
“So this is why you didn’t drink last night?” Dad says offhand.
“I wasn’t feeling so hot when I got here. It must be a—”
“Are we lying to each other now?” He leans against the counter too. “You haven’t had a single glass of wine since you arrived. And you’ve gained weight. And Lori hovers around you like he’s ready to eat anyone who gives you a bit of side-eye.”
“Can you stop doing the cop thing?” I don’t have the energy to fight him on this.
“Is it his?”
I don’t dignify the question with an answer, but I’m fairly confident the look on my face tells him everything he needs to know.
“What? You were dating Ben for three years. And this guy is young, Jenny. What is he, twenty?”
“He’s twenty-three in a couple of days and yes, it’s Lori’s. It was an accident, obviously. Like I would plan this with someone I barely know.” I don’t know if it’s the miserable way I feel or spending the night being insulted over the mic by Judith, but I am done and my voice is becoming louder with every sentence. “I get that your wife hates me, but I’d like to think my own father would give me the benefit of the doubt. I shouldn’t have to tell you that I caught Ben sleeping with someone else and the stress of the breakup and moving caused my birth control to not work properly. I shouldn’t have to justify my current relationship, considering he has been nothing but polite and kind and giving.” And it doesn’t stop there. Because the red rage has hit. “And all of this judgment is rich coming from someone who replaced my mom before she was cold in her grave!”
His jaw might as well be on the floor and his face is bright red with rage, but I leave before he can say anything else, stomping down the hall to the bedroom, certain every single person in this house has heard me.
I slam the bedroom door to find Lori sitting up and grinning. “Warm the jet?” he asks cheekily.
“Yes!” I seethe, ready to snap on him for being twenty-three and getting me pregnant and being a hockey player and rich. I’m irrational. And the vomit’s back.
I burst from the room, rushing to the bathroom again, barely making it a second time. My body rids itself of the water I just drank and then punishes me for even thinking about breakfast.
I gag and heave until there’s no strength left and I collapse on the floor, my face resting on the cold tiles. My eyes burn with the want to cry but there’s no fluid left in me for tears. I close my eyes and lie there, praying for death.
But my brother begins shouting, “That was awful. You and I both know it. She’s sick and you accuse her of being pregnant with Ben’s kid while dating Lori.”
“I’ve had about all I’m gonna take from you two this morning!” Dad rages but Josh doesn’t back down.
“Too bad, old man! You think shouting at me is gonna change the things you’ve screwed up? You’re the one who chose to leave Jenny to fend for herself her senior year because you couldn’t wait for us to be gone and out of your hair so you and your mistress could move in together!” Cool, calm, kind Josh is gone. He’s barely making sense at this point but it’s years of pent-up rage releasing. “She was still a kid and our mom had just died and you weren’t there for her.”
My entire body is pins and needles. I want to stop him but I can’t move.
“Josh!” Judith joins the conversation.
“What Judith? You think you or Dad fooled us? We knew he was banging you while Mom was sick. What kind of person fucks a dying woman’s husband?”
My heart nearly stops. I didn’t know that.
“You will not speak to us in our own house this way!”