her. She isn’t just someone to spend time with or a fun weekend. She’s it. Brady’s right. She’s the real thing.
But she doesn’t feel the same way about me. She wouldn’t have let me leave like that if she did.
The brick-oven apartment building makes attempts at killing me as I walk down the stairs and stumble out the front door, sitting on the stoop and staring at the street.
This helplessness is the worst.
My heart is so heavy I don’t see how my chest can hold it in place. Any second, I swear it’s going to fall out and tumble onto the road. I wonder which will hurt more, that or the searing pain of the lump in my throat.
My phone buzzes and I rip it from my pocket, hoping it’s her but it’s Nat.
I take a couple of deep breaths and answer, “Hey,” I wonder if she can hear it, hear the echo in my empty voice.
“Hey, I’m walking to your place.” She sounds funny. “I need your help. Are you home?”
“I’m on my way. Be there in twenty.” I get up and end the call, walking to my car, certain I’ll never recover from this.
I don’t want to.
Recovering would mean letting go and I can’t.
9
Ultimate betrayal
Wednesday, July 26
Jenny
Standing at the end of the line for the bag check at the airport, my mind paces between staying and going. His words from last night are stuck in the front of my thoughts, hitting like a chunk of wood to the face every time I repeat them.
He loves me. He didn’t say those words precisely but he didn’t need to.
My heart whispers to turn back and tell him and let the cards fall where they may. But the fear of rejection is too strong. Him telling me he doesn’t want the baby is something I can’t handle today.
“You know when I was pregnant, Lori offered to be my baby daddy. He told me he would marry me and not a single person in the world would know it wasn’t his kid,” a voice says from behind me. “He’s one of the best guys I’ve ever met and this is a terrible way to treat him.”
My heart stops.
Certain it’s a hallucination, I turn around, flinching when I find Sami and Matt standing five feet from me. They’re so out of my reality, I do a double take and make sure I’m at the right place. “What are you doing here?” I ask in a near whisper, confused at how they knew I was at the airport and why they’re here at all.
“What you’re doing is wrong. Trust me. I’ve made this mistake.” Sami walks closer, wearing sunglasses as if that could possibly hide her fabulousness from the world. People are watching us, maybe not certain she’s Sami Ford but sure she’s someone important. “And honestly, this is selfish. And I never thought you were a selfish person. You seemed so cool with all your drums and paintball and Team Canada.” She’s mocking me.
“What are you talking about?” My insides are in a knot. How could she know?
“That you’re going to ruin Nat’s wedding because you’re pregnant and fleeing the city like a coward instead of telling Lori about the baby.” Her words are a slap in the face, which I’m sure is the intended effect. They hit, hurt, and begin a series of questions I refuse to ask aloud, not that I can speak.
“Sami,” Matt warns with his tone, his eyes taking in everyone else.
“H-how the h-hell do you know?” I’m stunned, not just at the size of the balls on this bitch but her ability to know about the baby. Unless Lori knows. Panic seizes my heart. “Does he—does Lori know?”
“Of course not. You think any of us wants to be the person who tells Lori you’re sneaking off with his baby and breaking his heart? He’s a nice guy but he has limits.” Sami lowers her sunglasses so I see her eyes. “You can’t seriously be okay with doing this to him. He’ll never recover from a betrayal of this size. He loves you, even if he hasn’t admitted it yet.” She narrows her gaze. “And while I don’t particularly like you—”
“Sami!” Matt steps in.
“It’s fine.” I wave him off, glancing around to ensure the looky-loos aren’t able to hear what’s being said. This landing in the news is the last thing I need. “Of course I’m not okay with this. But you don’t understand.”
“We do understand. And we’re not