the bill holder.
I’m more stressed about him coming to my house than I’ve been about a lot of situations we’ve been in. Fortunately, when we get outside, the air is warm and relaxing and the constant hum of the traffic and the warm wind lulls me as I sit on the bench and she fiddles with her phone.
“You’ll be okay if I go catch the train?” she asks with her eyes still on the phone.
“Yeah, God yeah. I doubt he’ll be long.” I scoff. “I suspect he’s one of those dudes who drives like an asshole.”
“Yikes.”
“Right.”
“Do me one favor,” she says as she bends and hugs me. “Don’t take the job just because you can’t stand the thought of needing someone.”
“What does that mean?”
“You know how you are.” She pauses. “I mean, not to be a jerk but your expression while trying to explain that Stan got you an apartment, girl, it was hilarious. I could tell you weren’t comfortable with that place. You were upset he helped you and gave you something. Even if you earned it, you didn’t feel right.” She knows me way too well. “In fact, if I had to guess, you’re happier in your crappy brick apartment with a one-hour commute than you ever were overlooking the park.”
“Maybe.” I refuse to admit she’s right.
“You have this inability to let people help you, and I think it comes from Judith and how she’s always downplaying your greatness and pumping up her own kid. You’re so determined not to have help and do things on your own to prove how awesome you are. But you’re the first person to help anyone else.” She steps back, offering a shrug. “Maybe it’s time to let someone in.”
“I let Ben in—”
“Did you?” Her tone is high-pitched and mocking. “Did you really?”
“Yes!”
“So you let him feel like you needed him and showed your vulnerable side?” She folds her arms over her chest and arches an eyebrow.
“I was vulnerable.” I say it but now I’m not sure.
“Okay.” She doesn’t sound convinced. “I’ll let you stew on that since you’re not ready to face the truth. Just tell Lori about the job offer and make the decision that’s truly best for your happiness, not the best route for you to remain an island of independence.” She waves and walks down the street to the station.
“I love you, which means I’m not an island!” I shout after her, even though her words are fresh wounds.
“Me too!”
Before I’ve come to terms with anything she said, a black sports car I couldn’t possibly guess the make of pulls up in front of the restaurant and the tinted window lowers, revealing a smiling Lori. “Hi.”
Simply seeing his face makes me feel better. Like somehow everything will work out. He’s still Christmas morning magic.
“Hi.” I get up and walk to the door as he jumps out and gets it for me. “Thanks.” I catch a whiff of his aftershave and try not to inhale him like a weirdo.
But he grabs me, wrapping his arms around my waist and buries his face in my nape, taking a deep breath of me. “God, I missed the way you smell.” His warm, breathy words against my neck make me shiver. “Can we not do the six days apart thing again? I know you want to slow it down like we just started dating but dating implies seeing the other person.” He straightens up and grins.
“Maybe we should continue these gaps. You’ve never been this excited to see me.” I kiss him and realize Ben never mentioned our six-day gaps. Ever.
“I haven’t even begun to show you how excited I am to see you,” Lori growls against my cheek as he kisses once before pulling back and staring as if he wants to say something but doesn’t.
“What?”
“Okay, I’m not trying to disregard your request to slow things down, but I want you to come and be my date at Nat and Brady’s wedding. It’s not like Sami’s. Just a couple of relaxing nights on Martha’s Vineyard, and I already have a place there for us to stay.”
The question catches me off guard and my first response is to say no, but I just promised to be vulnerable and open to this relationship. And maybe saying yes will help him deal with my taking a job across the country. “Yeah, okay. It’s in like two weeks, right?”
“Two weeks. Sukii and Cap will be there too. He told me this morning he asked her