normal people do it? I wondered, wiping a bead off my upper lip with a finger. How did normal people go on dates and manage to survive it all without dying of shame and embarrassment (and dehydration)? How did the human race manage to reproduce when even sitting across from someone in a restaurant was such a horrifying obstacle course?
I handed my bag and coat to a waiter when I heard him behind me, his voice alone causing a clap of adrenalin to surge through me.
‘Hello.’
‘Hi,’ I replied, spinning round. The greeting! What sort of greeting did you go for if you’d already kissed on the mouth? Did you revert to two kisses on the cheek? Or another peck on the mouth? One kiss with that awkward half hug? I wished that I was more experienced in such matters as Rory leant towards me, kissing me on the cheek and squeezing the top of my arm. Not an option I’d even considered.
A waiter showed us to a dimly lit table in the corner – one candlestick and a small bunch of primroses in a jam jar – and pulled my chair out.
‘’ere you go, sir, madam, thees are thee menus and ’ere is thee wine leest,’ he said, with such a thick French accent I thought he might be faking it.
‘Thank you very much. Glass of champagne?’ Rory asked me across the table, hanging his dark suit jacket on the back of his chair and revealing a pair of red braces.
‘Amazing. Yes please.’
‘Two glasses of Billecart, please, and I’ll keep this,’ he said to the comedic French waiter, tapping his fingers on the wine list.
‘So,’ he said, leaning forwards on the table. ‘How was your day, dear?’
‘Fine,’ I replied, smiling shyly. I’d ignored Zach all afternoon while he took more photos, trailing cables along the floor and moving books from the right place to the wrong place on the basis ‘they looked better’ where he put them. But he forgot to slot them into place again afterwards so I tidied after him while Zach loitered by the counter, talking Eugene through his camera settings. ‘It was fine,’ I repeated. ‘How about you?’
‘Bloody marvellous and we’re celebrating!’
‘How come?’
‘Because today I got the phone call from the party saying I’m on their list.’
‘List?’
‘For becoming a candidate at the next election. There are various hurdles to clear before you can fight a seat and have to get on an official list before you can apply to any constituency. But today I was approved for that list.’
‘Congratulations! How exciting. So what next?’
He exhaled. ‘You have to wait, basically, for a seat to come up. And they have to approve you, and you have to fight an election. And normally first-timers are given marginal seats and it’s a long slog. But I’m hopeful.’
He dropped his voice and boomed across the table, ‘This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.’
‘See? You’re made to be a politician,’ I replied, laughing at his performance.
‘It’s actually Churchill who said that.’
‘Right,’ I replied, ‘I knew that.’ I didn’t, so I glanced down at the menu to hide my cheeks for a few moments before the waiter reappeared. He placed two glasses of champagne on the table and took our order.
‘I think we should have a dozen oysters,’ Rory said. ‘You eat oysters, yes? They’re excellent here.’
‘I’ve never actually had one.’
‘Good God! We must correct that instantly. So a dozen oysters, and then, Florence, what would you like?’
‘Could I have the cod, please?’ I said, automatically picking the dish which didn’t come with anything too fiddly and tiny to count.
‘And I’ll have the bourguignon,’ said Rory. ‘Pomme purée and… some carrots, I think. Ah, hang on, the wine.’ He ran a finger down the wine list and hummed to himself for a few moments. ‘And a bottle of the Côte du Rhone, please.’
‘Absolument, monsieur.’
‘Ah no, sorry, hang on,’ Rory said, and the waiter turned back to him again. ‘We’re having oysters to start so what Sancerre do you have?’
‘We only ’ave one,’ he replied. ‘A very nice 2016.’
‘Fine,’ said Rory. ‘A bottle of that and then the Côte du Rhone, please.’
My head was swimming with oysters and wine as Rory turned his attention back to me and rubbed his hands together. ‘I love the moment when you’ve just ordered and it’s all ahead of you, don’t you?’
I burst out laughing. I wasn’t sure I’d ever met