of her pile of gold than share it.”
Adam watched his back, walking in silence while Emil stormed ahead like a battering ram. His silence struck needles into Adam’s flesh, and each carried more poison. He watched the tense set of Emil’s broad shoulders and hated the little voice inside of him which asked all the ‘what-ifs’.
What if Emil was playing some kind of double game with him and secretly dabbled in the occult? Technically, the church considered palm-reading sorcery and saw it as yet another gateway for demons to enter the world. What if there was a connection they both didn’t understand? What if Emil had been targeted by the devil and somehow passed that influence onto Adam? It couldn’t be a coincidence that the most horrifying experiences in Adam’s life coincided with his arrival in Dybukowo. With their meeting.
“Have you always had bad luck?” Adam asked, catching up with Emil even though he knew that sooner or later, they’d need to stop by a bush and put on pants.
“Huh? Yes, Adam. I’ve broken many bones, hurt people by accident, and set my parents on fucking fire! Can you drop it?”
Adam swallowed, taken aback by the ferocity of Emil’s anger. “I’m sorry.”
The silence continued after they stopped, and Adam struggled to think of a way to help Emil. He sensed Emil’s gaze lingering on his body as they changed, and it felt like hungry licks. This needed to end, because next time, somebody might get ideas about the nature of their relationship.
“Look, maybe people would treat you differently if you didn’t stand out so much,” he tried.
Emil frowned. “Can you stop complaining? Nothing bad happened.”
“I’m complaining? I’m just trying to think what to do so you don’t have to deal with shit like that. And the fact that people noticed we’re spending so much time together isn’t gonna help,” Adam whispered, aware of every little sound around them, because what if they were accidentally overheard by a villager taking a nap in the grass? He couldn’t put his clothes on fast enough.
Emil took a deep breath. “We’re not doing anything illicit. Not openly at least. It’s okay.” He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around Adam’s neck. The gesture usually made Adam’s knees weak. This time, he felt trapped.
He ducked and pulled out of the embrace, suddenly breathless when he remembered Jessika’s curious gaze on him. “But we are doing something illicit. I don’t want to stop, and that’s the problem. I’m in an endless well of sin, because I can’t even honestly say I’m going to stop this when I go to confession. I am a shepherd who’s more lost than his flock!”
Emil’s gaze darkened, and Adam wasn’t sure if it was a trick of light, or if the devil was toying with him again. “What’s the point of pulling back now? We’re not even doing god-knows-what!”
The words felt like a punch. He’d let go of so many boundaries only to hear he wasn’t giving Emil what he wanted. “It is a lot to me.”
Emil shook some more water out of his hair, so glorious he was painful to look at. “We’re being discreet.”
Were they, though? They’d just been skinny dipping together. He clutched at his hair while his chest worked fast, struggling to suck enough oxygen into his lungs. “You don’t know what’s gonna happen! When we went swimming, you also said no one would see us. Sometimes, the worst thing just happens.”
Emil groaned and grabbed his hand. “Bad things happen to me. You’re safe.”
Adam pulled away and quickly put on a T-shirt. “I don’t want bad things to happen to you, to either of us, but don’t you see we’re playing with fire? Remember what the demon did to me? I still can’t sleep on my own when the lights are off,” he revealed despite shame cramping his stomach. “And I’ve been sent here in the first place because someone found porn in my room!”
Emil’s eyebrows rose. “Oh. Naughty.”
Adam shoved him away despite hating himself for it immediately. “This isn’t a joke! I’m talking about our lives here.”
Emil raised his hands. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry, that does sound shit. I… Maybe one day you could sleep with me, and you wouldn’t be afraid anymore.”
Emil couldn’t have been any more bewildering. “What are you talking about? And I’m not afraid,” he insisted, even though it instantly hit him that he was. The sense of danger staying somewhere beyond sight yet ready to strike when he was at his