Because you’re the one who thinks all those clues—the dolls, that damn knife, Koterski—pointing to you are accidental. I compromised everything I believe in for you, and you just lie to my face,” Adam said, raising his voice halfway. His breath came out in ragged gasps, as if he were too agitated to keep his tone even.
Emil pointed to the rubble behind him. “Did I also burn down my own house? Do you believe I sent my crows to murder Zofia?”
Adam’s jaw muscles worked, and his handsome face no longer brought Emil joy. “What about Piotr?”
Emil frowned, thrown off guard. “Piotr who?”
Adam stepped back. “Piotr the skinhead! Piotr the family man who threatened to find where you live! That Piotr.”
“I don’t follow.”
Adam’s face was red as if all the blood in his body rushed there at the same moment. “He’s dead. Pecked to pieces by crows like Zofia! And you have crows tattooed on you. And those damn birds follow you, as if they’d imprinted on you!”
The ground shook under Emil’s feet, but he remained standing despite nausea crawling through his stomach like a cockroach. “Are you suggesting I had something to do with that? Seriously?” he asked, and for a moment, his voice actually broke.
Adam stared toward the horizon. “I don’t know why you’d set your crows on Piotr now. Maybe you didn’t, but that doesn’t make you innocent when it comes to everything else. In seducing me, in the sinful life we lead I was perfectly fine before we met, and so were you! Maybe we just aren’t right for one another,” he muttered, shaking his head.
Adam might as well have picked up the dagger and stabbed him. Emil let out a bitter laugh. “So this is what it’s about. You just want to dump me. I guess that makes me the stupid one. I should have known better than to get involved with a priest. Was this what you always intended? A summer fling with a country bumpkin?”
Adam’s teeth dug into his bottom lip, and a flash of pain passed over his features. “How can you say that after everything that happened? I wanted to believe in you, and now I feel like a complete idiot. I should have ran right away, immediately after he possessed me the first time!”
Emil balled his hands into fists. “So all that talk of going to Warsaw together was just to string me along until you made up your mind?” The betrayal stung more than he could have imagined. He’d always considered himself a cynical man, didn’t expect much of people, and this was where his willingness to trust Adam had gotten him. Then again, with all the attention Adam showered him with, the endless making out sessions, the promise of more, maybe Emil shouldn’t blame himself. He’d been helpless in the face of Adam’s seemingly innocent affection and bound to fall for his act.
Adam swallowed hard. “You misunderstood me when we discussed this. I wanted to help you get out of this place, so that you could be with someone who actually wants to be in this kind of relationship. I can’t. Everything that happened is only making that more obvious. I will leave Dybukowo, and I will do what I should have done straight away, instead of following my lust like an animal! I will get help. And I will get better. I will not let anyone or anything use me ever again!”
Emil stared at him, but the sense of disbelief was gone from his heart. He should have learned already that good things only happened to him so he could have his hopes crushed. His past was filled with broken promises and rejected dreams, but this—losing Adam—was the worst yet.
“Oh, I’m sorry you have to suffer so much in your life. Boo-hoo. I’m so done with this. If I’m the cause of all your problems, consider yourself freed. All this devil shit has always just been an excuse, hasn’t it? You tasted dick last night and got cold feet today. Makes sense,” he rasped and grabbed the golden chain Adam had given him for his birthday. He hadn’t meant to rip it, but the links broke, and soon the little cross hung from his tightened fist along with two ends of the chain.
The dark blotches on Adam’s skin became an angry shade of red, and despite the invisible blade still hurting Emil’s insides, he couldn’t help but feel regret over this being the last time they’d see one