cash injection to Emil’s permanently ailing budget too—but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Not just because it used to be Grandpa’s, but also because Radek enjoyed riding in the bitch seat so much.
Today though, there was no joy in having Radek’s lean body against his. Emil tried not to think about it too much, but once Radek got onto the bus, they might not see one another for ages. He’d surely be back for Kupala Night in June, and then for Christmas, but between university and the part-time job Radek had already lined up in Cracow, the visits wouldn’t last more than a couple of days at a time.
He wasn’t in love with Radek, but there was a genuine spark to their friendship, the kind Emil had only experienced with a handful of people. Despite the nine-year age gap they were on the same wavelength, enjoyed the same music, and had too many inside jokes to count.
To Emil, Radek was more of a friend with benefits than a hook-up, which was something rare in this remote village, where their sexuality was hush-hush. If the cell phone signal were good enough to support Grindr, the app would surely show him the few people he’d already hooked up with a million times, for lack of better options.
There had been a time two years ago when Emil had toyed with the idea of Radek becoming a more stable presence in his life. He’d wondered if they could take things to a different level, defy the conservative attitude of the locals, and live together, but he hadn’t gotten to voice those thoughts before Radek gleefully announced he planned to enroll to university in Cracow. Maybe it was for the better that he hadn’t said anything, because Radek was twenty and not ready to settle down.
And the fact that he told Emil in detail of all his sexual exploits was yet another indicator of how he viewed their relationship. Emil didn’t have the right to jealousy and was way past any inklings of it at this point, but he would miss Radek as a friend. He’d miss their sex, doing DIY together, and watching Radek add notches to his bedpost right under the nose of his homophobic dad.
Elusive like a young fox, Radek hooked up with strangers during family vacations, right under everyone’s nose, but the village head was too enamored with his only son to notice his transgressions. He even rationalized Radek’s long hair and tight jeans as a part of Radek being an ‘artistic soul’ whenever someone as much as dared to look at him the wrong way. No one wanted to be at odds with the wealthiest man in the village and one of the major employers in the area, which gave Radek the privilege of untouchability.
But such was life. Radek had been lucky to be born into a family of means while Emil had learnt not to expect much and be happy when reality was bearable. So he didn’t have many prospects in Dybukowo, but he wouldn’t starve as long as he could hunt, forage, and do odd jobs around the village. That counted for something.
“I’ve thought about renting a studio apartment, but it’ll be more fun to share. You know, have instant friends in a new place,” Radek said, tightening his arms around Emil’s chest as they drove between the farms scattered throughout the valley tucked between forested mountain slopes. The sun was still low. Like Emil’s mood.
He sometimes toyed with the idea of leaving. He could gather the few valuables he had, lock the door, and leave the homestead to rot. He could take a long-distance bus to Cracow, get a job there, and start fresh. Find someone to love. Meet people like him, who wouldn’t be just passing through. Not have to hide who he was all the fucking time.
But he couldn’t. Not when he had animals to take care of. The chickens could be sold, and the goat too, but getting rid of Jinx wasn’t an option he wanted to consider. The horse was the one special thing in his life, a personal gift from his grandad, and an exquisite animal—strong and agile despite the many scars he’d collected over the years. The one creature who wouldn’t desert Emil, and fantastic tourist bait all in one. Emil couldn’t even count how many guys he’d seduced by hooking them with a ride on Jinx. That kind of partnership deserved loyalty.
Emil’s thoughts drifted to the shy stranger