expected. His infidelity hurt a thousand times more than the fact that he might have put a spell on Adam too, ultimately causing the traumatic possession. Adam was not special, and his company, the summer that had been so life-changing for Adam, meant very little to Emil. He’d been just another conquest. Another notch on the bedpost, appeased by confessions of love and gentle touch.
“You should stay away from him, then.”
“I try, Father, I really do, but there’s something evil going on with that man. I find myself waking up at his door some nights ever since I found this weird doll under my bed. I swear he’s behind it!”
Icicles sank into Adam’s flesh, but he kept his cool as best he could. “We are all responsible for our lives and our relationship with God and others. Try doing something you enjoy whenever those thoughts come back,” Adam said automatically and cringed at how much his own advice infuriated him. No amount of television, Internet, or books could possibly purge his mind of the feelings he harbored for Emil, the first and only man he’d let into his heart and body. Even if Emil had lied, Adam’s feelings for him were true, and that made everything all the more terrible.
Koterski seemed relieved to get his penance, promised to avoid sin and that was that.
But it wasn’t, because his confession changed everything.
Chapter 21 - Emil
Looking at the charred furniture and what was left of the walls, Emil found it hard to comprehend that he really stood in the place he used to call home. The house where generations of his family had lived and died—turned into ash within hours.
Even now, among the overpowering stench of smoke, he could smell the herbs Grandma had kept in their home. It would be gone with the first rain.
Emil couldn’t make himself approach any closer and just watched a whole pack of crows pick at half-burned food. What a metaphor for his miserable life. One side red and juicy, where Adam had kissed, loved, and accepted him, while the other was a mangled, charred mess where he was homeless, unemployed, and in debt for a business venture which had never come to fruition.
Wind blew through the ruins, taking away some of the dust and uncovering remains of bottles scattered in the ashes. He’d avoided coming here all day despite being painfully aware that ignoring the problem wouldn’t make it go away. It had been easy enough to wait for Adam, but when it became clear the pastor’s absence would keep him busy until late, Emil bit the bullet and went on his own. He had to face the destruction of everything he knew, and couldn’t count on the crutch of company.
Emil would be enough of a burden for Adam in the upcoming months. He was sure Adam wouldn’t see it that way, but that was the reality if they were honest with each other. Despite the love they shared, Emil would need support, patience, and help. This tragedy would strain their relationship, and Emil could only hope that eventually, they’d rise above it, stronger than ever before.
Forcing his feet to move, he walked into the debris and breathed in the coal-like scent of calcified wood. The old fireplace was still standing tall in the middle of the devastated remains, but the wooden walls and roof had collapsed around it, taking Emil’s entire life and heritage into the burning pit. The water pumped by the firemen had turned the ashes into mud, which now clung to his boots as he stepped over surviving chunks of the structure, and approached the brick shaft.
Blackened with soot, it revealed its entire form for the first time since the house had been built—a hidden message from Emil’s ancestors, the great-great grandparents he’d never met.
He’d expected the stone to be hot after last night’s fire, but when he touched it, the cold he sensed instead stabbed right through his bones. As if the house had stood in ruins for years, the skeleton of a long-forgotten monster. But as he sucked air into his lungs, stiff and on the verge of despair, thoughts of Adam watching him from the bed earlier filled his mind with warmth.
Their love was a glimmer of hope in the icy reality Emil had to face. A hope for a new beginning somewhere far away from this beautiful place that brought him nothing but misery.
He swept his gaze over the endless meadows bathed in the glow of the