‘trips for supplies’ – although what he thought he could purchase from inside the van with the seat reclined in siesta position was beyond Kate. Stacey Hill, the only other resident, was probably on the beach, trying to clear her head; this too was a daily exercise and would one day, hopefully, enable her to sort the muddled thoughts that plagued her.
‘Are you hungry, Tanya?’
The girl shrugged. Her confusion was not over whether she was hungry or not – she was starving – but whether or not she was comfortable in saying so.
Kate read her reaction.
‘Tell you what, why don’t I pop some sandwiches up to your room while you are getting settled?’
‘Thanks.’
A deal had been struck.
As they climbed the staircase, Kate pointed out the sitting room with its oversized sofas, the dining room, where all meals were taken, and the kitchen with its central table, perfect for catch-ups over coffee or the issue of tissues as and when required.
They stopped at a door with a sign on it that read ‘Dream’.
‘All the rooms have different names. We have “Wish” and “Faith” and “Free”, but “Dream” has the best views and I want you to have sweet dreams.’
She turned the handle and let Tanya walk in first. The girl walked straight to the sash window and stared at the expanse of ocean.
‘Where does it go? I mean, what’s the other side of the sea?’
‘That’s a good question. Geography was never my strong point and I had to look it up when I first arrived, but I have been reliably informed that if you swam as far as you could, the first country you would hit would be Canada.’
‘Canada near America? You’re shitting me?’
‘No, it’s true – if you swam until you hit a beach, you’d probably be handed a towel by a Mountie! Imagine that.’
‘I can’t swim.’
‘Would you like to learn?’
‘No.’
She shook her head. Her answer was loud, emphatic, as she placed her forehead on the cool glass. Kate could not have guessed at her thoughts, the flash of an image, her mother’s boyfriend, angry, pushing her face under the water, a deep, cold bath, don’t breathe, don’t breathe…
‘I’ll go and fetch your sandwiches and leave you to it. Your bathroom is through that door and the wardrobe’s here – it’s all pretty self-explanatory. I’ll let you get settled and I’ll be straight back.’
Tanya didn’t lift her head from the glass. Instead, she stared at the ocean, vast and black and going all the way to another country, another world, Canada… She had never seen the sea before, only pictures of the ocean or in movies. The way the water constantly flexed and jumped leaving tiny white crests wherever she looked was fascinating; it was alive. She hadn’t been prepared for its size, all consuming and limitless.
When the door clicked shut, she looked for the first time at her surroundings. The room was beautiful, with pale blue walls, a stripped wooden floor and a pretty rug. There was a small Victorian fireplace with two comfy chairs in front of it and a little table. The chairs and bed were covered in white cotton with the tiniest sprigs of green flowers sewn onto it, like something out of a magazine. Tanya had never seen anything like it. It was lovely.
The bathroom was similarly perfect, with large white fluffy towels and a thick towelling dressing gown hanging on the back of the door. Tanya could not help but compare it to the bathroom of her childhood. When she blinked she could see the image tattooed on the inside of her eyelids, a constant reminder. It was the room that most symbolised the deprivation in which she had lived and it would stay with her forever. The tiny, cramped room, maybe six foot by eleven. It had a plastic bath with a jagged crack along the side panel and two greenish white streaks like the residue from tiny waterfalls snaking from the tap down to the rusted plug hole. The frosted window was small and high up on the wall, too high to reach and open with ease. In lieu of a curtain, her mum had tacked up a child’s striped pyjama top. Tanya didn’t know where it came from, it wasn’t one of hers. It hung like washing trying to dry, suspended with drawing pins and sagging forlornly in the middle. The loo was filthy and the whole room stank of urine and damp.
The exposed concrete floor was curiously daubed with blobs