was a good judge of character and after just a few hours in her company could tell that Kate was not here to make trouble.
‘Lights out, ladies!’ The warder flicked the switches on the outside walls. ‘And let’s try and keep the noise down please!’
She heard the unmistakable sound of a pillow rustling and guessed that Kate was trying to muffle her sobs.
An hour later she did the rounds to check all lights were out and everyone was where she’d left them. She found Kate sitting on the edge of her bed. Her hair hung forward over her face.
‘How you doing?’ the guard whispered.
‘Okay, thank you.’
Kate smiled at the shadowy figure. Her voice stuttered between dry sobs; her breathing had lost its natural rhythm. She sounded like a toddler that couldn’t speak after a tantrum.
‘Actually…’
‘Yes, Kate?’
It was not unusual at this time of night for the inmates to initiate conversation or make a request.
‘I was wondering if you could help me with something.’
‘What’s that?’
The guard’s tone was suddenly stern, prepared for a verbal assault or a ridiculous demand. Both were the norm on night rounds.
Kate raised her left hand and held it up to the small grille at the top of the door.
‘I need to take off my wedding ring. My solicitor said I should keep it on during my trial, but that’s over now. I hate wearing it, I really do, but I can’t seem to get it off. I’ve been sitting here trying and I can’t get the bloody thing off. I don’t want to spend another night with it on my finger, not one more night.’
Kate was desperate to remove the symbol of her misery. When the band of gold had been placed on her finger, she had been young, hopeful and full of passion for life. The middle-aged woman who now pulled and pushed at the third knuckle of her left hand had joints and fingers that were swollen through hard work and abuse. She felt as if a time-thief had come along in the dead of night and erased decades from her life. It was a cruel trick, the cruellest.
Her tears fell thick and fast.
‘I really don’t want this on my finger any more. Please….’
It was the first and last time that the warder would see such a display from Kate, and she felt moved to help her. A few minutes later she returned with a bowl of warm water and a bar of soap. Unlocking the door, she handed them over to the mild-mannered lady who was in such distress.
‘Thank you so much. I’m very grateful.’ Kate smiled through her tears.
She vigorously soaped and wiggled and pulled until her finger bled. This only made her more determined; she reapplied the soap and tried again. On the third attempt, and ignoring the agonising swelling that made the job that much harder, Kate succeeded. She plopped the ring into the bowl of water along with the soap and studied the groove that still marked her finger.
‘How long do you think it will take for this to disappear?’ she asked when the guard made her next round.
‘I don’t know. I’d guess a few months.’
Kate nodded; she could wait a few months.
‘What would you like me to do with this?’ The guard had fished out the shiny gold ring and held it between her thumb and forefinger.
Kate flapped her hand in the direction of the window. ‘Oh, I don’t care. Anything! Throw it away please.’
She nodded before returning her attention to her finger, flexing it and admiring her naked hand. She might have been referring to the soap, so nonchalant was she about its disposal.
Kate slipped between the stiff, starched sheets and knew that she was finally free. That was her final thought as she drifted off into a deep, sound sleep. It was a whole new quality of sleep and one that she had forgotten was possible.
When she woke in the morning with the sun filtering through the prison bars and streaking her grey blanket, she had a smile on her face and peace in her heart. She had done it: she had escaped and was at peace. Kate grinned. It felt utterly wonderful.
Today
The house was eerily silent. Natasha and Kate sat at either end of the sofa in front of the fire. Both had neither appetite nor energy. It had been a gruelling day, a gruelling month. The two women had been preoccupied by their grief, exhausted in their distress, and organising the funeral had been