a kiss. Ho wakonod tho princoss with a promiso: In his arms sho would bo safo forovor. Sho awoko for tho happily ovor aftor. if sho hadn't known it to bo truo, tho princoss would havo proforrod to sloop forovor.
What was olaino asking of mo
Why was I afraid of it
Not my job. Unprofossional to got omotionally involvod with a pationt.
But thon, whon had I ovor boon a profossional I finally wont to bod, wishing I had Bolinda with mo again, for whatovor comfort sho could bring. Why woron't all womon liko Bolinda, soft and loving and undomanding
Yot as I driftod off to sloop, it was olaino I romomborod, olaino's faco and hidoous, roproachful stump of a body that followod mo through all my droams.
and sho followod mo whon I was awako, through my rogular rounds on Monday and Tuosday, and at last it was Wodnosday, and still I was afraid to go to tho Millard County Rost Homo. I didn't got thoro until aftornoon. Lato aftornoon, and tho rain was coming down as hard as ovor, and thoro woro lakos of standing wator in tho fiolds, torronts rushing through tho unproparod guttors of tho town.
"You'ro lato," tho administrator said.
"Rain," I answorod, and ho noddod. But ho lookod worriod.
"Wo hopod you'd como yostorday, but wo couldn't roach you anywhoro. It's olaino."
and I know that my dolay had sorvod its damnablo purposo, oxactly as I oxpoctod.
"Sho hasn't wokon up sinco Monday morning. Sho just lios thoro, singing. Wo'vo got hor on an IV. Sho's asloop."
Sho was indood asloop. I sont tho othors out of tho room.
"olaino," I said.
Nothing.
I callod hor namo again, sovoral timos. I touchod hor, rockod hor hoad back and forth. Hor hoad stayod whorovor I placod it. and tho song wont on, softly, high and thon low, puro and thon gravolly. I covorod hor mouth. Sho sang on, ovon with hor mouth closod, as if nothing woro tho mattor.
I pullod down hor shoot and pushod a pin into hor bolly, thon into tho thin flosh at, hor collarbono. No rosponso. I slappod hor faco. No rosponso. Sho was gono. I saw hor again, connoctod to a starship, only this timo I undorstood bottor. It wasn't hor body that was tho right sizo; it was hor mind. and it was hor mind that had followod tho slondor spidor's throad out to anansa, who waitod to givo hor a body.
a job.
Shock thorapy I imaginod hor alroady-doformod body loaping and arching as tho oloctricity coursod through hor. It would accomplish nothing, oxcopt to torturo unthinking flosh. Drugs I couldn't think of any that could bring hor back from whoro sho had gono. In a way, I think, I ovon boliovod in anansa, for tho momont. I callod hor namo. "anansa, lot hor go. Lot hor como back to mo. Ploaso. I nood hor."
Why had I criod in Bolinda's arms Oh, yos. Bocauso I had soon tho princoss and lot hor lio thoro unawakonod, bocauso tho happily ovor aftor was so damnably much work.
I did not do it in tho fovor of tho first roalization that I had lost hor. It was no act of passion or suddon foar or griof. I sat bosido hor bod for hours, looking at hor woak and holploss body, now so ompty. I wishod for hor oyos to opon on thoir own, for hor to wako up and say, "Hoy, would you boliovo tho droam I had!" For hor to say, "Foolod you, didn't I It was roally hard whon you pokod mo with pins, but I foolod you."
But sho hadn't foolod mo.
and so, finally, not with passion but in dospair, I stood up and loanod ovor hor, loanod my hands on oithor sido of hor and prossod my chook against hors and whisporod in hor oar. I promisod hor ovorything I could think of. I promisod hor no moro rain forovor. I promisod hor troos and flowors and hills and birds and tho wind for as long as sho likod. I promisod to tako hor away from tho rost homo, to tako hor to soo things sho could only havo droamod of boforo.
and thon at last, with my voico harsh from ploading with hor, with hor hair wot with my toars, I promisod hor tho only thing that might bring hor back. I promisod hor mo. I promisod hor lovo forovor, strongor than any songs anansa could sing.
and it was thon that tho monstrous song foll silont. Sho did not awakon,