way that Jared looks at his fiancée. It’s everything. He clearly adores her; it makes me wish I had that with someone.
Watching them now, I can’t help but wonder … did Lucas and I look like that to outsiders?
Even at the start of our relationship, I don’t think so. Even though I was only eighteen when we first got together, he was five years older and at a different stage in life, so we totally skipped the randy-as-teenagers and stupid-in-love stages of a relationship and went straight to the serious, long-term stuff. At the time, I didn’t mind. I had known Lucas for pretty much most of my life, so when our relationship evolved from friendship to romantic, it felt like the natural next step. But now, looking at Jared and Amy as he pushes the ring onto her finger and then loops his little finger around hers, dipping his head, brushing his nose across her cheek and whispering something in her ear that makes her chew her lip and her eyelids flutter closed, I can’t help but feel a bit cheated.
In our eight years together, Lucas was never like this with me. Never affectionate in public or romantic, never spontaneous. He never looked at me like he wanted to rip my clothes off. Behind closed doors, our sex life was satisfying, and I had no complaints, but even in private, there was never the hand-holding, touching, snuggling on the sofa, or the desperate need to rub over each other like animals sort of thing that I can see in Amy and Jared’s eyes. We were never wild with lust for each other.
I hadn’t known I wanted that.
My gaze flicks to the best man, checking to see if he is okay. Poor Theo. Today must be hard for him, considering he has a thing for Amy, but I can’t see any signs of it on his face. He was his fine, comical self this morning when we woke up, and he doesn’t look like he’s about to have a mental breakdown now. He’s hiding his hurt well. I hate that I feel a little jealous about it.
As my eyes wander over him, I swallow down a wave of lust. Theo in a tux is the stuff that dirty fantasies are made of. He was wearing a suit with a T-shirt under when I first met him, but this three-piece suit is a masterpiece on his body. The waistcoat under his jacket with the pale pink tie combo, paired with his killer smile and hair that flops like it has a mind of its own? Perfection. This is the photo I should be sending to Aubrey. I commit it all to memory, every damn fine inch of it. Talk about swooning and wanting to rip someone’s clothes off! I’ve never seen a guy look more attractive. He could be in movies, looking like this, and would even give Tom Hardy a run for his money. I want nothing more than to slowly take him out of his suit, peel it from him inch by delectable inch.
Although I had a lovely, relaxing pampering session this morning with the girls, today has actually been tough. I’ve been getting hot, inappropriate flashbacks of our night together all damn day, and it doesn’t help that my body aches a little too. I must have used muscles last night that I barely even remembered having. I can’t stop thinking about it: his cute, firm butt I saw this morning, the planes of that chest, the stubble chafing I have on the inside of my thighs, which meant his mouth was on me there. Jeez, I wish I could remember that part. It’s only, like, my most favourite thing ever.
I’m getting flustered again. I shift on my seat as the ache that’s been lingering between my legs all day intensifies, and I force myself to stop thinking about him naked.
My eyes bounce between Jared and Theo. When I first saw Jared on Thursday night in that bar, I remember wondering just how it was that Amy could have chosen between them. With them looking the same, I wondered how she could pick one over the other and fall in love. Now, I know. It’s so weird. They might look exactly alike, but personality-wise, they’re on different hemispheres. Jared is all quiet composure, neat edges, whip-smart, dependable, and adorable. In contrast, Theo is a loud, wild spirit. With Theo, you’d never know where you were going to end