managed to get away without this interaction, but it appears my luck has finally run out.
“Oh shit, Luce, I need you to pretend we’re dating.” My fingers curl around her hip, and I pull her to me, pressing our sides together tightly.
“What?”
“Theo, hi!”
Amy’s mum and nanna are both waving excitedly as they walk towards us, each clutching a large glass of wine. If the pink on their cheeks is anything to go by, they aren’t on their first glass. I gulp as Nanna’s eyes make a slow, appreciative sweep of my body. She looks at me like I’m an injured antelope and she’s the lioness waiting to take me down.
I lean in closer to Lucie. “Please, please help me out here. Save me from the clutches of a randy, old lady who is actually adorable and hilarious but way too flirty for her own good.”
I shoot her the begging face, and she chuckles, her eyes twinkling with humour as she catches on.
“I got your back.” She sends me a wink and wraps her arm around my waist as the two women stop in front of us.
I clear my throat and smile. “Hi, ladies. How are you both? Long time, no see!” I lean in and give them each a kiss on their cheek, trying not to wince as Peggy, Amy’s nanna, turns her head at the last second, so her mouth connects with the corner of mine.
“Hi, Theo. You’re looking nice and relaxed. Did you catch some sun?” Amy’s mum asks, smiling affectionately.
I nod and brush a finger over my cheek. “Probably. We’ve been on the beach.” I pull Lucie closer to me and slide my arm up from her back to drape over her shoulders to make it glaringly obvious that we’re together. “Luce, this is Amy’s mum and nanna. Anne and Peggy.” I motion to them both in turn. “Ladies, this is my date, Lucie.”
“Hi. It’s so lovely to meet you,” Lucie greets warmly, raising her hand and slipping it into my one that rests casually over her shoulder.
Nanna Peggy catches the small, possessive move, and I see disappointment flash in her eyes.
I grin happily. “So, where have you two been hiding all day? I’ve been keeping my eye out for you both.” That’s not a lie. I was keeping watch, so I could either run in the other direction or use Lucie as a human shield.
Peggy sets her hand on my forearm and squeezes gently. “Oh, Jared booked us on this amazing couples spa day as a treat! It was wonderful. We’ve been massaged, steamed, and mud-wrapped. Then, we drank Prosecco in an aromatherapy spa bath … well, until they confiscated it anyway—”
“We weren’t supposed to drink in there, of course. That’s why they took it away.” Anne, Amy’s mum, rolls her eyes and motions with her head towards her own mother, clearly indicating who is to blame.
Peggy leans in closer, her eyes twinkling mischievously as she talks directly to Lucie, “I also had a Brazilian.”
I look at my feet and try not to think about it or show my horror at the thought of her eighty-something-year-old lady bits being waxed.
“A Brazilian and then you went in a spa bath? Won’t you get, like”—Lucie scrunches her nose and waves her hand at her crotch—“a rash or some sort of reaction?”
Peggy dismissively waves her hand and looks at her over the top of her glass. “Oh no, dear, not a wax. My masseuse was Brazilian. Antonio he was called.” She fans her face and sends Lucie a conspiratorial wink. “Twenty-four. Hands like the devil. Bum like a—”
“Mum! Will you behave?!” Anne cuts her off.
“Oh my God. You’re the best!” Lucie bursts out laughing. It’s loud and free, and I can’t help but laugh along with her even though I’m dying inside.
Anne clicks her tongue. “Don’t encourage her.”
I smile at the exchange; Lucie is still shaking with laughter under my arm.
“Lucie and I should probably get going. We just ordered room service, so don’t want to miss it. I’ll see you both at the party in a bit. Can’t wait to see your outfits!” I smile sweetly, sending them a wave as I guide Lucie away.
“You’ll save me a dance tomorrow night at the wedding, Theo?” Peggy calls as we walk away.
I turn back and nod. “Of course. I think it’s my duty as best man to dance with both of you actually.”
Lucie sets her free hand on my stomach, and the warmth of it seeps into my skin