me you believe me."
I nod. "They...they were touching you. You looked..."
"I didn't want them touching me. I wanted to crawl in a hole. I'm not cut out for this. Gustave is better suited. My father was right about us."
His eyes are light gray, almost blue. In the room, they were mostly dark. They now are how they always were whenever he would look at me before all this happened.
I reach up and touch his lips.
He puts his hand over mine. "You're still shaking. Are you scared of me?" Fear covers his face.
"No. Not right now."
He closes his eyes for a brief moment. "But you were?"
New tears fall. "Yes."
"I hate myself for what I did to you."
It hangs in the air. I can't deny he hurt me. I wish I could, but I can't.
I spin to my side, but the chain from the collar gets caught between us and yanks my neck. I wince.
"Jesus. I'm so sorry. Let me take it off." He puts his hands behind my neck, but I grab them.
"You really do own me now, don't you? It isn't something to undo, is it?"
More guilt hardens his face.
"I will always be your property, won't I?"
"Emilia—"
"Why aren't you calling me your ma belle? I've never heard you use my real name so many times before. Did that get taken from us, too?"
He glances out the window. "I don't know if I've lost the right."
I dig into his hands with my fingers. "You haven't. I wanted to be your property. I loved you. When I agreed to this, I thought it would be okay, and I would be yours forever."
His eyes glisten, and he blinks hard. "You said, loved. As in used to but no longer do."
"Can someone who is owned, love? Is it allowed? Do I have to worry about not showing affection for you in public? Do I pretend to hate you?"
He lowers his voice so I can hardly hear him. "So you do not love me anymore?"
I pull his hand off my neck and wrap the chain around it. "No matter how much I hated you, I still loved you. But my love for you strangled me, making me think I was strong when I am weak."
"You are strong. All night you proved how much strength you have. Tonight was fucked up. But I was so proud of you. You did everything perfectly. You did it better than me."
I close my eyes, and the shame of the evening tumbles all around me. I whisper, "I hated it. And I wanted it."
Silence fills the air, and my chest rises and falls faster.
He traces my skin above the diamonds. "What did you want, ma belle?"
His hand I wrapped the chain around, I put to my cheek. "The moment you stepped forward, when I had the bag over my head, I smelled you. I was dying for you to touch me. In the last two weeks, I've wanted to know what you would do if I were in the scorpion chair. I stared at the eyelets all over this suite for hours at a time, wondering what it would be like for you to restrain me and have all the control over every aspect of my body. I spent hours on my knees with a dildo in my mouth and Bernadette teaching me to open my throat. When I laid my head on the pillow, I imagined what it would be like with you fisting my hair and guiding the pace when I took you in my mouth. The sounds of the people, it's echoing in my ears, right now. I can't get some of the women's faces or cries out of my mind. The scent of their arousal is permeating me as if sticking on my skin."
His thumb slides over my lips. "I wanted to kiss you when I saw you. I knew I couldn't. When you arrived, I wanted to take you away from it all. Then I lifted the bag. I saw the hatred in your eyes. I heard it in your voice. My weakness... I wanted to break you so you would stop hating me."
I nod. He didn't need to tell me. I saw it in his eyes. "And you wanted to own me."
"So none of those other men could even attempt to buy you," he insists.
I lace my fingers between his hand and the chain. "I saw it in your eyes, Malin. You wanted me to call you Master."
"Because it's required."
"No. You needed me to