that wasn’t work. It didn’t matter if it wasn’t a hobby or an activity…just time to devote to someone else and growing what we had. Like I did with Mom.
I sank into my chair and kicked my feet up onto the desk. I never did that. But, right now, I resented my office more than I ever thought possible. The four walls penned me in. This box of a room could steal my dreams if I let it.
But no. That wasn’t an option. Not an option at all. I couldn’t let work, my history, or my fears come between whatever Jamie and I had, especially with the way my feelings were growing deeper with every passing moment, every glance, every touch. I was half falling in love with him already, even if I wasn’t quite ready to admit that to myself.
Losing him just wasn’t an option, and fear trickled through me that one person could mean so much after so many quick fucks. One and done. That was all I ever wanted before.
I huffed in disgust and my feet landed back on the floor with a thud as I pushed my chair away from my desk. I could sit around wallowing about falling for Jamie, or I could do something, so it was time I did something.
Saint was on the phone when I glanced into his office, but he beckoned me in anyway. I threw myself into the leather chair on the client side of his desk and he frowned a little as he rearranged his pens from one side of his jotter to the other. The smell of leather dominated Saint’s space, and I’d long since come to associate that rich smell with him.
He brought his call to a close then looked at me expectantly. Then he checked his watch. “What are you doing, dude? It’s only four thirty in the afternoon. I’m sure you’re never unchained from your desk until at least nine?” Then he laughed. “A wake-up call from you at four thirty in the morning wouldn’t be more surprising than this.”
I twitched my mouth down at the corners to show my displeasure at his joke, but the truth was it cut too close. The entire firm knew my working habits. Hell, probably half the town did. Certainly the majority of the guys who frequented Hot Toddy’s knew I was good for a quick late-night playtime but never anything more.
“That’s why I’m here.” Better to just put it out there right away.
“Oh?” He cocked his head to one side.
“Well, we’ve grown a lot recently, taken on bigger cases…high-profile ones…”
Saint nodded. “Yes.”
I wasn’t telling him anything he didn’t already know. I sighed. “I think it might be time to consider taking on another partner. Not just consider. I think we need to bring in a third to take on some of the responsibility.”
Saint watched me for a moment then his lips formed a smug grin.
“What?” I hadn’t meant to sound so defensive.
“I might have predicted the Caldwell charm would be your downfall. I just wouldn’t have predicted this particular Caldwell.”
I forced out a sigh and rolled my eyes.
“You deny it?” Saint rearranged his pens again as if our conversation no longer held any interest for him.
“Yes,” I blurted. Then, “No. I mean, I can’t deny that. I want more of my time free to spend with Jamie.” I would have considered my words weak in the not too distant past… Weak because I couldn’t afford to let anybody too close.
Holding that one rule gave me identity.
But so much had changed. And I wanted to be a better man for Jamie. I wanted to spend time with him and enjoy him. I didn’t want him to ever feel second best to my past or my job.
Saint grinned when he finally looked up. “I’m glad to hear someone was finally able to shock some sense into you.”
I considered his words. Shock was exactly right. I never expected to be the one to initiate this conversation.
“How would you like to handle it?” Saint steepled his fingers. “We could look to promote internally…” He trailed off and gave a brief shudder. We both knew Malcolm wasn’t an option. “Or we could look to hire someone from outside the firm.”
That was the option I’d arrived at as well. I rubbed the back of my neck, unsure how Saint would take my next suggestion. “Actually, I already have someone in mind.”
“Oh?” He sounded curious and a little amused rather than irritated, which was a