seat, my friend.”
I huffed a sigh of reluctance as I sat with him. “This an official meeting?”
“Just a friendly check-in.” He leaned forward. “Your mom okay?”
I sighed again. After being friends for over a decade, he knew me so well. Too well, some days. “She’s…she’s good,” I assured him. “Busy.”
“You seeing her later?”
He knew all about our Friday lunch catch-ups.
“Am I on trial?” I laughed to lighten the mood. “You ask a lot of questions.”
“Just having a conversation with my friend.” He smoothed away some lint he must have imagined on his cuff. “Say hello to your mom from me when you see her, though.”
I sighed for the third time. Any more deep exhales, and I’d deflate completely. “She can’t make it to lunch.”
Saint laughed. “What? She stood you up again?”
I remained silent and he sobered.
“Sorry about that, man.” He shrugged, the movement sympathetic, but I didn’t expect him to understand. He’d been raised in a huge family, and even now his mother expected them all to gather at the family mansion once a week—sometimes going so far as to call me if she couldn’t get hold of Saint when he was late.
“It’s okay.”
This time, Saint sighed. He rested his hand briefly on my knee. “It’s not, though, is it? I know how important your mom is to you, and how important this time each week is.”
I pursed my lips. “Do you? You roll your eyes every week over your own family dinner.”
“Yeah, but that’s… I mean, seven brothers. If it was just Mom and me…” He watched me for a moment, his lawyer stare, and I could almost see the options of what to say ticking through his mind. “Yeah, you’re right. It’d still cramp my style some weeks.” He hesitated then continued. “But you’re not me, and I get that your relationship with your mom is completely different. I’ve shared my parents my whole life. I wasn’t the first, I wasn’t the last. I’ve never been alone with either of them.”
“Yeah.” I glanced at the carpet.
“But you know what? You’ve got a life, you’re essentially leaving her a little more every day. It’s what guys do. I heard the other day that having a son is like living through the world’s longest breakup—”
“I would never—”
“I know.” He lifted his hands to stop my sudden interruption. “I know you’d never leave her. But she has someone now. Someone else who won’t leave her. The burden isn’t all on you, anymore.”
“She isn’t a burden.”
He scratched his jaw. “I know, and that’s not what I meant. It’s coming out all wrong. I don’t usually sum up on the fly.” He winked. “What I mean is, your mom met someone, and she married him. He’s her peer, her equal. You’re her son and that will never change. But this guy…”
“Roy,” I supplied in a tight voice.
“Roy. They’ve only been married three months. They’re still technically in their honeymoon period. It’s all new and still sparkly. He’s a good guy, right?”
“So far.” But I didn’t know, not really. He could leave her like Dad left both of us… Shit. Dad died, but he still left. There was always the chance of pain, even with the best of men. “I mean, Mom seems happy enough.” Yeah, happy with her new guy and new stepdaughter. Her own family that no longer included me.
“Nico?”
I looked up, suddenly seeing Saint through blurry vision. I scrubbed the back of my hand across my eyes.
“I know it’s tough, but she hasn’t left you. You’ll see her next week, and she’ll have lots of news to tell you. It must be good to see her happy.”
I swallowed. “Yeah, it is. You’re right. Roy seems like a good guy. He adores Mom, anyway, and I am happy for her…” I didn’t know who I was trying to convince.
Saint laughed again and stood, straightening his pants leg so it fell properly. “I believe you. Must be tough not to be so in control anymore.”
I winced. When he put it like that, I kind of sounded like a psychopath. “Not control so much. I mean, I don’t want to control my mom’s life.”
“Responsible, then?” he prodded.
“Yeah, maybe.” I nodded. When I was responsible for ensuring Mom’s happiness, I knew the rules and what to do. It was hard to share that—especially when sharing actually felt like being pushed out. “And…and care.” But I almost whispered that last part.
“Anyway.” Saint took a step toward the door. “Time to find your happy place and let