perfect all the time. That doesn’t mean that there aren’t still lows. Or struggles. Or moments when the memories try to claw their way back into the present and blacken everything around you.
But I know now that if you just wake up every single day ready to do battle- ready to fight for what you have- then you have a real chance to hold onto it.
Alexei and I fight for each other every day. Without fail.
We argue. And we both repeat old patterns. But in the end, we always find our way back to each other. Because we promised we would.
He is my solace and I am his sun, and Franco is the entire universe around us.
Since Katya and Sergei’s betrayal, Alexei is much more careful about who he lets into his home. And we never go anywhere without him. Without his protection and his diligent security measures.
Some would say that it is not right. To live so far away from everyone else. To be at home all the time. But this is our kingdom. He’s my king, and I’m his queen. And we would do anything to protect each other. And we are happiest here. Where we have each other.
Mack and Lachlan come to visit often. Keeva and Franco will grow up together. The way that Mack and I did. But with people who love them. And they will never know the horrors that Mack and I knew. Or even Alexei. Because as a parent, I have realized one thing. So profound in its simplicity that it sometimes knocks me off balance.
My love for Franco is unending. And my mother’s simply was not. She was broken in a way that I could never truly be. I am not like her. I will never be like her.
Because I have them. And for me that is all I ever need to know to keep fighting. To keep living. To keep cherishing every moment I get to spend with them.
When I watch Alexei now, speaking Russian to his son and earning smiles, I’m smiling too.
So is Magda, who has embraced the role of Babushka with gusto. Even Nikolai has earned his way back into Alexei’s orbit. He is everything I could ask for in a brother-in-law and uncle. Always spoiling Franco when he comes to visit.
Today, he arrived with a blinged-out kid size hummer for Franco to cruise around the yard in. The only problem is that Franco isn’t even crawling yet.
“It would be nice for him to have a cousin,” I tell Nikolai.
He looks at me and shakes his head. I still don’t know what’s happening between him and Tanaka. She never leaves his sight, but the cold front between them is obvious to anyone.
“Maybe someday,” he says.
“Maybe someday what?” Alexei asks as he passes Franco to me and pulls my body into his.
“I was telling him that he should start having some babies too.”
Alexei shakes his head. “He could not handle it.”
Behind him, Tanaka is smiling.
“Lunch is ready,” Magda interrupts us.
“Nikolai, take Franco downstairs?” Alexei asks.
Nikolai takes him from me and everyone moves downstairs apart from Alexei and I. I already know what he wants. It seems like we always have visitors now. And sometimes, these stolen moments are all we get.
He reaches down and wraps his arms around my body, kissing me and groping me while he has a chance.
“Wear black for me tonight,” he says. “And let’s go to bed early.”
“What about Franco?” I ask.
“Uncle Nikolai can have some practice,” he answers.
I smile up at him, curious how long he’s been planning this.
“Okay, Lyoshka. For you, I wear black.”
I move to go downstairs, but he stops me again.
“I haven’t told you yet today,” he murmurs as his lips find mine. “But I love you, Solnyshko. Always.”
The truth is, he does tell me that every day. Sometimes, he wakes up in the middle of the night just to tell me. To remind me that he has given me the one thing I never thought he could.
His heart.
I do not take that for granted.
Even when we fight, we always remember to never take each other for granted again.
So I guess in the end, maybe there’s a little hope left for all of us. Even me.
* * *
The End
Afterword
Thank you so much for reading Ghost. If you enjoyed it, please consider leaving an honest review on Amazon or Goodreads. You can keep an eye out for my other book releases by following me on Facebook, or signing up for my Newsletter.
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Acknowledgments
Dark Rebels- Thank you for your continued support and friendship. I am always in awe of how hard you work to promote my books and spread the love. You are all amazing. Each and every single one of you.
Melissa Crump- Do I even need to say it? You’re going to make me say it. Theo is mine. How many times do I have to…
But seriously though. I love your face. And your heart. And well, just everything about you. You are one bada## PA and friend and you’ve been there for me through thick and thin. So thank you for simply being you.
Rose Hudson- thank you for loving Alexei as much as I do. And for giving me the courage to go a little crazy. You are awesome.
Dani Kermon- You’ve been there since the beginning and have read everything I’ve ever written. You have a heart of gold and I just love you.
Kristina, Lisa, Belinda, Heather, Candace, Claudia, Billie, Nicole, Ingrid, Wendy, Brittany, Tanaka, Carol, Victoria…
You are all amazing and I am so thankful for your friendship. It’s late and I know I’ve made you wait long enough for this book. So I’m wrapping it up here.
Toodles!
Also by A. Zavarelli
CROW: Boston Underworld #1
Reaper: Boston Underworld #2
Echo: A Bleeding Hearts Novel Volume One
Stutter: A Bleeding Hearts Novel Volume Two
Falling into Temptation
Falling into Exposure
Falling into Surrender
Falling Series Boxed Set
An Escort for Christmas
One Last Gift