I think.
But even after I blink several times, the image in my eyes does not change.
It is Dmitri.
Bound, gagged, and naked on a wooden sawhorse. There is a man behind him. A big man. Huge. His shirt is off, and all he wears is a pair of leather pants. But the room reeks of sex and sweat, and it is obvious what has taken place in here already.
“Talia,” Alexei’s voice cuts through my thoughts. “This is Boris. He will be seeing to Dmitri during his stay here.”
His words from the corridor outside make sense to me with shocking clarity. He is avenging me. He is going to make Dmitri suffer for what he did to me.
I wait for my mind to tell me that this is wrong. Or sick. Or that I shouldn’t feel any enjoyment when I look at Dmitri, knowing what awaits him.
But none of those things happen.
I do feel enjoyment. I feel some sense of justice. The scales finally being tipped back in my favor if only a little.
He is the reason I have no trust. No hope. He is the reason I am dirty and ashamed. Touched by men who had no right to. The reason I struggle to look in the mirror most days. He handed me to Arman on a silver platter and made me wish I was dead every day.
So it should not surprise me when my lips tilt into a smile, but it does surprise Alexei. And relieves him.
“Go,” he tells me. “Say whatever you would like to say to him. This is the last time you will ever see his face, Solnyshko.”
I move to step away, and Alexei hesitates to let me go. And it is only then that I realize he is struggling with this too, in his own way. Knowing that Dmitri has had me before. There is a possessive gleam in his eyes as they move over my body. My body that is filled with his come and his child inside of me, which he does not yet know. My skin, that smells of him. And my face, which no doubt does little to hide my swollen lips from his kisses or tangled hair from our romp.
He has marked me as his own. As though to rub it in Dmitri’s face.
As if he would ever care.
He sold me.
Ruined me.
And Alexei is putting me back together. Piece by piece.
I stretch up on my tiptoes and kiss him on the lips. And then I give him the thing that he needs.
“Come with me,” I tell him. “I need you with me.”
My words set his worries free, and he takes charge, leading me in front of Dmitri so that I can meet his eyes. His cold, lifeless eyes.
They were never that way before. That is how he tricked me. He was so good at making me believe.
But not now. The horror of his experience is only just beginning, and it is written on his face for me to see. I savor that. I soak it all in, and I smile right at him.
Even if Boris used him a hundred times over, it would not equal the torment this man has caused me. But it does not matter. Because I have peace, now. And so there is only one thing I have to say to him. The same thing he said to me when I discovered he had sold me.
I lean forward so that I’m right in his face. My eyes unmistakable in the truth that I feel nothing for this man anymore.
“You better get used to it, kitten,” I mock him. “The pain is going to be your new best friend.”
His eyes plead with me, even though the gag in his mouth prevents him from speaking.
But there is no mercy to be found here.
Not with me, and certainly not with Alexei.
He makes a gesture to Boris, who moves behind Dmitri again. Unzipping his pants as he steps between Dmitri’s spread thighs.
“Enjoy yourself, Boris,” Alexei tells him. “He’s yours to play with for the week.”
35
Alexei
My beautiful Solnyshko.
The moment we are back into the corridor, I cannot contain myself.
I kiss her. And touch her. Pulling her body into mine.
So brave. So vicious.
I am harder for her than I have ever been. She knows this. And she climbs up my body and into my arms. So small and vulnerable and mine.
“You feel safe with me,” I tell her.
“Yes,” she answers.
I groan. Because I want her to. Even if it’s wrong. Even if I am