that out."
"I'm sorry," I say. "Your dad was always a great guy."
"Great guy, yes." Landon nods. "Ethical guy?" He gulps the rest of his water, frowning. "Jury still out on that one."
"Wait." Did he just admit what I think he did? "Are you saying..."
"God, no." He frowns. "You really want to talk about the plagiarism charges here?"
"No, obviously not." I frown right back at him. "You were the one who brought it up."
"Let's just forget it," he says.
"Agreed."
His gaze slants my way. "And you?"
Here it is: the question I've been dreading. The question I have to avoid. Again. At all costs.
"Well, clearly I got through school, so that was a relief. And now, yeah, life is good. I'm a lawyer. Pamela's still my best friend."
...And I have a nine-year-old.
Landon's gaze on me is admiring, although it seems miles away too, as if trying to figure out a calculus problem. "You just seem so... different."
"People do change in nine years. Isn't that the whole point you've been trying to make about yourself?"
"Yes - and no." He smiles helplessly. "I'm still as into you as I ever was."
Fuck me. Why is it the more he says things that he shouldn't, the more excited I get?
But then it hits me, as hot and angry and certain as a fire ant: Guys who are actually into their girlfriends don't break up with them - and certainly not like that.
"Sorry," he says quickly, before I can say anything more. "You still into Kate Morton?"
"She keeps writing books, so of course. I'm surprised you remembered."
"Yeah, I had this whole meet and greet mapped out..."
"Stop it," I say quietly. "Just stop. This doesn't make any sense."
"Because of what I did?"
"Because of what you did. You keep saying these things that don't match up with what you did. So stop pretending that things ended any different way than they actually did."
Just then, the waiter comes with our menus.
"I think we're about ready to order," Landon tells the bald, big-nosed man.
"Oh?"
"She'd like the flank steak with roasted potatoes and green beans, and I'd like the same, please," he tells the waiter.
Um, what now?
He grins at me as the waiter leaves. "How'd I do?"
I almost want to call the waiter back and change my order just to wipe that self-satisfied smirk off his face, but I really do want the flank steak.
"Listen, I know I was a dick back in college," he says. "But I meant what I said before. I really am sorry."
"You weren't just a dick." I have to force myself not to raise my voice. I've been waiting over nine years for this long-overdue apology. Let's just say emotions are running high. "You broke up with me in the middle of a party, in front of everyone - Pamela, your brothers, all our friends, random people we hardly knew. Then, you just left. No explanation. Nothing. Just yelling 'I don't want to be with you anymore, get it!' and rushing out. Then you disappeared. No calls. No texts. Nothing. Three years down the drain."
Landon rakes his hand through his light brown hair. "It was a douchebag move."
"And you never told me why," I continue, getting angrier and angrier the more I speak. I know I should stop, that the time to stop was minutes ago, but I can't. Fuck Landon. And fuck me, for even agreeing to come here with this jerk, no matter what he said. "One day things seemed perfect, the next I was single with an ex who didn't even have the decency to tell me why."
Landon can't meet my eyes, is scowling. "I was just a stupid kid, and I..."
His jaw tightens. "Forget it."
"You're not going to tell me why," I say dully.
"It doesn't matter," he says. "OK? I... I don't want to talk about it. Point is that you didn't deserve that, at all. I'm sorry. I don't blame you for hating me."
"OK," is all I can say.
"Kyra - " he begins.
"Listen," I say. "You lost the right to be with me years ago. But if you stop being an ass, we can maybe be... not enemies. OK?"
He nods, exhales. "OK. I can live with that."
"Good. Because there are some things you don't get second chances for. Marrying your sister's ex-husband. War crimes. Breaking up with your girlfriend in front of all your friends without a damn reason why."
Landon chuckles. "That's on the same level as war crimes?"
I find myself chuckling too. "Well. You know what I mean."
"I do." He shrugs. "No