just something you said while your brain hurried to process that the worst was actually happening.
The trooper’s grim response had made me swallow hard. “Right now.”
We Suttons weren’t a very tactile bunch by nature, and the younger boys had made arguing a gladiator sport. But at that moment, it was hard to tell which of us was gripping the other’s hand harder.
My father had been grim and strangely unhurried. It was only when I got older that I realized he’d already known she was gone. We’d arrived at the hospital, still a little disorientated and half dressed. I hadn’t remembered to brush my hair and none of us had bothered to change out of our pajamas.
I hadn’t known what it meant when they showed us to a sterile little room upon arrival, but my father certainly had. When the chaplain came in, even I started to get the picture. I realized later the little room was because they didn’t want us to upset the other patrons in the emergency room with our reaction to the news. They shouldn’t have worried because we were a stoic family by nature. I wasn’t sure what the Latin was for “internalize your pain, and talk about it never,” but it should go on our family crest.
As I rubbed sweaty palms on my wrinkled Spider-Man pajamas and stared at my father’s ghostly pale face, the gravity of the situation hit me with the gentleness of a sledgehammer. We hadn’t come to take her home.
We’d come to say goodbye.
The sound of a knock at the door and an overly cheerful voice on the other side of the curtain jolted me out of memories better left buried. “I’m here to take your blood pressure, Mr. Roberts. Do you mind if I turn on the light?”
Mr. Roberts seemed to feel like I did toward overly cheery people. He grunted and muttered, “Does it matter what I say?”
I listened with half an ear as she finished taking his vitals. The nurse had the patience of a saint. She kept up a steady flow of chatter that was truly remarkable, considering how little Mr. Roberts gave her to work with. After she finished, she flipped off his light. There wasn’t much difference, what with the natural light streaming in through the window, but Mr. Roberts gave a sigh of satisfaction that made the nurse chuckle.
I expected her to leave, but a moment later, she popped her head around the curtain and nearly scared the pants off me. I grabbed my chest, because that’s what you do when you aren’t sure if your heart is going to fail or keep pumping.
“Oh, sorry hun,” she said with a smile. “I’m glad you’re here. He’s in X-ray right now, but he’s been asking for you.”
“Yeah?” I barely held in a snort. I seriously doubted that.
“Yes, you must be John.” She beamed.
“Nope.”
Her smile lost a little shine. “Mark?”
“No.”
“Um,” she said hesitantly. “Matthew?”
I took pity on her. “Journey.”
She looked nonplussed for a moment, clutching the pole of the blood-pressure machine like a lifeline. Then she reddened. “Journey. Journey, of course!” She began rewrapping the cord around the pole as if it had suddenly become mission fucking critical.
I was more than happy to let her off the hook. I’d bet a month’s salary that my father hadn’t mentioned me at all. It certainly wasn’t the nurse’s fault that Jack Sutton could be an asshole. Nor was it particularly newsworthy. He hadn’t forgiven me for leaving, and I hadn’t forgiven him for making it necessary. It was the suck-ass version of the Circle of Life.
“So, how’s he doing?” I asked.
“Are you….” She hesitated. “Family?”
All right, that was starting to chap my ass a little. “His son,” I said through gritted teeth.
“Oh, good. Right.” She smiled widely. “We’re just glad to see him close to getting back home. He’s been impatient, to say the least. I keep reminding him that the stroke wasn’t that long ago, but you know how it can be.”
I frowned. John hadn’t said a word about it. “I wasn’t aware he was ready to be discharged.”
“Of course. Either tomorrow or the next day, he’ll be ready to go.”
“Go? Go where?” I looked at the beaming nurse as though she’d said a dirty word. And in a way, hadn’t she? Had that crazy woman implied that I might be taking my father someplace?
“With you, of course.” She frowned. “He’s going to need supervision and care while he recuperates. Where else would he do that?”
“I assumed