keep my attention on Carol and not slip into the insanity that came from focusing on Ethan.
Carol waved away my comment. “Nonsense. He can take you to the farm and you can chop one down.” She linked arms with Em and me and started guiding us toward the door. “I planted those trees a few years ago. They are ready to come down.” Once we were at the coat rack, she dropped her our arms and located our jackets.
“If you leave now, it’ll still be light out and you’ll be back in time for dinner.” She leaned in. “I’m making a turkey with gravy. You won’t want to miss it.”
I begged to differ. My pants were already starting to feel a tad tight from all the goodness she fed us. But I didn’t have time to resist as my jacket was shoved into my hands. I slipped it on as Carol instructed Ethan to get ready as well.
Porter popped in from the living room, which caused Em to perk up. He got his shoes and jacket on, and then the two of them headed out to the porch to wait for us. I gave Ethan a sheepish smile. I was fiddling with the zipper on my jacket. I didn’t want to seem like I was waiting for him…even if I kind of was.
I wanted to make sure he was okay with this. After all, the expression on his face was a sour one. He looked as if he were struggling with something, and I wasn’t sure if it was because of me or the sudden appearance of his ex-girlfriend.
“You okay?” I asked as I leaned in with a soft smile. I wanted to show him that I was not a threat.
He zipped up his jacket and plopped a hat on his head. “Yeah. Great.” Then he frowned. “Why?”
I shrugged. I could tell that he was lying to me, but I wasn’t sure if I should push him further or if I even wanted to know why he felt he needed to lie. And really, was it my place? After all, I was just a guest here. At some point, I was going to need to leave and return to the normal world.
Perhaps, he’d just realized that as well.
What was the point of starting a real relationship if the other one was destined to leave. He was being wise, and I should follow suit.
“Nothing. Just checking,” I said as I shrugged and pulled my gloves from my jacket pocket.
Ethan didn’t say anything more. Instead he gave me a curt nod and then headed out the front door to join Em and Porter.
Still confused, I decided to push that confusion from my mind and focus on the present and what we were doing. I was here to enjoy myself, and I was going to do that. I was going to forget my frustration over Ethan and experience Christmas like Em and Carol wanted for me.
I could worry about what Ethan’s reactions meant later.
For now, I was going to be the jolliest guest in Christmasland ever.
After all, what other choice did I have?
If I was going to stay here, I was going to enjoy myself.
No matter what.
17
Ethan
I sighed as I pulled up to the Christmas tree farm that Mom had started years ago. I let the inn’s truck idle for a moment before I turned the key and declared, “We’re here.”
Emilia squealed and opened the door. I peeked back at Bea, who was smiling just as big as she opened her door and climbed out. Porter seemed to be enjoying himself, too. He and Emilia had really hit it off, and despite the fact that he was blatantly lying to the girl, he didn’t seem to feel any guilt over it.
Not like me.
No matter how much I tried to convince myself that it didn’t matter, that it was okay that I was pretending for Bea, I couldn’t shake the guilty feeling inside of me. I was a fraud. I was—in a way—being as untruthful to her as Scarlet had been to me.
Even though with Scarlet, we’d been together, pledged our fidelity to each other, I couldn’t draw that line of distinction in my own mind.
I wasn’t being honest with Bea, period, and no matter how hard I tried to justify it, nothing made me feel better.
I looked out through the windshield. Em and Porter were talking, and Bea was watching me. She’d picked up on my hesitation—which I hated—and I could tell that