them while I brushed off the snow from the table and benches. Thankfully, Mom had enough foresight to pack us blankets to sit on.
Once the table was clean, Beatrice and I set out the containers of food while Porter stacked the wood in the pit and lit a fire. Soon the smell of Mom’s ham quiche and the sound of crackling wood filled the air.
We settled down at the table and ate in silence. The food was so delectable that we didn’t want any of it to cool before we could consume it.
I peeked over at Beatrice, who had sat next to me. It was strange. Even though we hadn’t officially called this a double date, it seemed Emilia and Beatrice knew instinctively who was with whom. Emilia was laughing and swatting at Porter’s arm as he told a joke, and Beatrice just smiled as she sat next to me.
This breakfast almost felt…normal.
If planning a Christmas breakfast like this was at all normal. Which it wasn’t.
This wasn’t me. Grand gestures didn’t come naturally—and I had a slew of women I’d dated who would agree. I didn’t know how to be the romantic type, and being here, pretending to be, felt like a lie.
But even though I felt like a fraud, Beatrice looked happy. So for now, I was going to lean into that.
Our conversation remained light as we finished up the food. Emilia was teasing Porter, and they looked so at ease that I wondered if Beatrice and I were ever going to feel that way. How could my bum of a cousin connect with someone so effortlessly while I was struggling to string together three words?
I both hated and respected him for his ability at improv.
Emilia and Porter declared that they didn’t care that it was breakfast time, they were going to roast the marshmallows Mom had packed. With them gone, the table was quiet, and I was desperate to engage Beatrice in some sort of conversation.
“Did you sleep well?” I asked.
She was mid sip on her hot chocolate. She finished swallowing and then set her cup down. “Yes, I did.” She tucked her shoulders up to her ears. “It was how I would imagine sleeping at the North Pole actually goes.”
I raised my eyebrows.
“I mean, if I were to stay in Santa’s room, that’s how I’d imagine it would feel.”
I widened my eyes.
“That sounds wrong, doesn’t it,” she said as she giggled, “me sleeping in Santa’s room.”
I raised my hands. “Hey, you said it. I didn’t.”
She lifted her mug back up to her lips and took a sip. I could feel her gaze over the rim as she tipped the cup up. Then she squinted at me as she set the mug back down on the table.
I wasn’t sure how I felt about her scrutinizing me. After all, I was acutely aware of my flaws, and the fact that she seemed intent to focus solely on me meant I wasn’t going to be able to hide them. She was going to witness them if I didn’t do something fast.
“I slept great, thanks for asking.” Except I hadn’t. I spent the whole night tossing and turning. Partly because I was nervous about this morning and partly because of Porter’s snoring.
She dabbed the sides of her mouth with her gloved hand. “I’m happy to hear that.”
“You are?”
She met my gaze. “Of course. I need the judge for this afternoon to be well rested and awake.”
“Judge?”
Her gaze lingered as she furrowed her brow. “You forgot already?”
“Forgot?” I racked my brain for what she was talking about. And then it dawned on me. I was judging the baking competition today. “Right…the bake-off.”
“Well, I’m glad that you could forget, because I cannot.” She set her arm down on the table and then leaned forward to rest her forehead on it. “It’s going to be a disaster,” she moaned.
“I’m sure you’ll do great.” I moved to pat her back but then decided against it. After all, I wasn’t sure what was appropriate conduct for me in our relationship, and the last thing I needed was for a “very handsy” review to show up on our website.
So I set my clasped hands on the table and decided that was the best place for them.
Beatrice straightened and glanced over at me. She sighed as she blew her hair from her face. “I’m telling you, it’s going to be a disaster.” Her cheeks flushed as she leaned into me. I leaned back slightly, not sure if she