up with a logical, well-thought-out plan to victory.
I groaned as I grabbed a nearby pillow and pulled it over my face. I held it tight as I kicked my feet in the air. After a few seconds, I removed it and glanced over at her. Em looked unimpressed. “Feel better?”
I squeezed my eyes closed and shook my head. “No.”
The bed moved as Em lay down next to me. I glanced over at her and saw that she was studying the ceiling above us. It was strange, seeing Em so stoic. Her normal come-what-may attitude was gone, and she looked more mature as she stared above her.
“Did I break you?” I asked.
Em laughed. “No, you didn’t break me.” She sighed. “I’m worried I broke you.”
I furrowed my brow. “What does that mean? Why would you think you broke me?”
Em tipped her head to study me. “I dragged you here. I convinced you that everything was part of the story. I don’t want you to be hurt.”
My chest tightened at her words. “Hurt? Why would I get hurt?” As soon as the words left my lips, I wanted to take them back. I knew what she was saying. She feared what I feared.
That Ethan was just playing a part and that none of this was real.
“Oh,” I said. The emotions in my throat made my voice become a whisper. I didn’t realize how soul-crushing it would be to hear that my best friend also feared what I had kept inside this entire trip. I guess I figured that if Em never confirmed it, that idea just might remain in my head where it belonged.
But now that she admitted that she felt that way too, I was left with nothing but the reality of my situation.
“So what do I do?” Why had I allowed myself to become an idiot? Everyone else in Christmasland understood the facade, why couldn’t I get on board?
Em sighed and shifted so that she was on her side. She studied me as she drew circles on the comforter with her finger. “Do you want to leave?”
I both loved and hated the fact that she was offering this. It was a testament to our friendship that she was willing to give up something she loved for me, and I appreciated that. But there was no way I was going to become that kind of friend. I was the one who read into this place too much. I was the one who’d let myself care.
And even if I believed, deep down, there might be a chance that Ethan actually cared for me, I needed to get my head on straight and lock my heart in my chest where it belonged. Plus, it was a joke that I would actually find love in a place like Christmasland. Every relationship I’d had in one of the biggest cities in the world ended in heartbreak, why did I think I would find something different in a small town like this?
No. This was a test for me, and I was failing. I was going to get up, get dressed, and enjoy myself. If Ethan was playing a game, then I was going to play too.
I could do this. I could.
We spent the next fifteen minutes getting ready. I had to convince Em a few times that I’d be fine, especially when she gave me the pursed lips and raised eyebrow look. I knew she was asking me if I was okay.
Even if I wasn’t sure I was, that didn’t matter. I was here for her. I was going to give her the best Christmas experience because I knew she cared about it.
“What do you want to do?” I asked as I leaned against the doorframe and watched her lace up her boots.
She paused as she glanced up at me. “What do I want to do?”
I nodded. “What would make this the quintessential Christmas for you?”
Em finished tying her lace and stood. “The quintessential Christmas?”
This was a fun conversation. Her repeating everything I said. “Yes.”
A slow smile emerged on her lips. “Are you coming around to Christmas?”
I nudged her with my shoulder. “I’ve always loved Christmas.”
She gave me a look that said, yeah right.
I laughed as she locked our door. “Okay, so maybe I don’t love it as much as you do. But I enjoy the idea of Christmas.” I raised my hand and left a small space between my thumb and forefinger. “Just on a smaller scale than you.”
Em linked arms with me as we