how to respond to that. Remembering her question, I motioned toward the back, where I assumed the kitchen was. “I’m looking for Ethan? He promised to help coach me as I make something for the bake-off in town.”
Carol’s eyes widened, and I hoped that she was more surprised that Ethan was helping me and less that it was me who was baking. I knew my cooking was bad, but it wasn’t like it was legendary.
“He did? Well, isn’t that nice,” she said as she patted my forearm. “Follow me. I’ll show you where the kitchen is.
We weaved through the dining room and pushed through a swinging door that led into a fully stocked kitchen. It was cluttered but in an organized way. If I had a grandmother, I would want her kitchen to look like this. Pots hung from the ceiling, as well as different herbs that were drying.
“This is incredible,” I said as I reached out and ran my hand along the smooth marble countertops.
“Thanks. When Steve died, I struggled to pull out of my depression. Ethan was worried about me. He would call home every day to make sure that I made myself food and showered.” She glanced over at me as an embarrassed expression passed over her face. “I’m so sorry. TMI.”
I shrugged. “I understand. I lost my parents when I was just a baby, so I know loss.”
“You did?”
I hated that a lump rose up in my throat every time I talked about my history. It wasn’t like it was new to me. It wasn’t like I had any other story to tell. “My parents abandoned me,” I said in the most nonchalant tone I could muster.
“I’m so sorry,” she whispered as she reached out and covered her hand with mine. And then, slowly, her expression morphed into one of concern. “What did you do for the holidays?”
I shrugged. “It depended on what my foster family wanted to do. Some celebrated, some didn’t.” I pushed around a few crumbs on the counter as I waited for Carol to respond. I was fairly certain how she would react, and I wasn’t sure if I was ready for it.
“I’m so sorry,” she said as she leaned in and wrapped me in a hug. “Every child should experience Christmas.” Her voice was cracking as if she were on the verge of tears.
Her reaction only spurred on my own response. I didn’t want to cry, but with her hugging me as tight as she was, I feared she would squeeze the tears out despite my efforts to keep them inside.
“It’s okay,” I said as I patted her back.
Carol hugged me for a bit longer before she pulled away. I was surprised to see her expression had changed from sad to resolute. “It’s settled,” she said as she dusted off her hands.
“What’s settled?” I didn’t like the determined tone to her voice or the crazed look in her eyes.
Carol waved off my question as she hurried over to the far wall. She disappeared into another room and shut the door behind her. I stood there, staring at the spot she’d been in just moments ago, confused as to what had just happened.
“Everything okay?” Ethan’s deep voice caused me to jump. I turned to see that he was holding an apron in each hand and was studying me.
“What?” I asked before I could stop myself. Why was I so jumpy, and why did my voice come out so weak?
“I asked if everything is okay. You’re just staring off into space with a confused look on your face.”
Not wanting to go over what had just happened between his mom and me, I motioned toward the aprons. “Is one of these for me?”
He furrowed his brow but didn’t push me further. Instead, he nodded and handed me one. “Yep.”
I took it and slipped it on. Just when I went to tie it, Ethan moved to step behind me. “I can help,” he offered.
His fingers brushed mine, and suddenly, I forgot how to even move my hands. I hesitated but then slipped my hands out of the way, and he proceeded to tie the strings. His body was so close to mine that I could feel his warmth cascade across my back. I could feel his presence without actually being touched by him.
It was completely overwhelming and relaxing at the same time.
As soon as he was done, I took a giant step forward just to give myself space from him. I was ready to get