should’ve said something. I know that.” I pause, wanting her to hear me and understand why I did what I did. Trying to justify my actions, just so I can have one person on my side. Because I know once this gets out, no one will be on my side. “I was just…I was so embarrassed. I was so hurt. I didn’t know how I was going to explain that we slept together while he was drunk, and I was now pregnant. Then there was Holly. I didn’t know if they were a couple. I didn’t want to be the talk of the town. My crush wasn’t exactly a secret, so I didn’t want other people to think I did this intentionally. I just…I wanted him, and at the moment, it seemed like a good idea. Giving him my body, sharing something with him that I’d longed for, for years.”
My mom heaves a deep sigh, nodding as she processes the information. I swipe the tears off my face, waiting for the reprimands to start. Waiting for her to tell me what a horrible human being I am.
She doesn’t do that, though.
“That’s why you keep turning him down, isn’t it? You feel guilty.”
“We’d never work anyway. He doesn’t know the truth. He doesn’t know that I’ve kept his daughter from him for years.”
“This…God, Selene. This isn’t good. You have to tell him.”
I look down at the floor solemnly. “I know. I’ve been trying to find a way, but he’s so…he’s so persistent. Each time I think I’m ready, he storms into my life, charming me, buying me flowers, being sweet to Luna, and I don’t know how to handle it. I’ve been in love with him for years. All I ever wanted was for him to see me. And now, now that’s all he seems to be doing. He’s seeing me, Mom.”
My mom smiles sadly. “He’s finally chasing the moon.”
My chin wobbles and pressure builds behind my eyes. “I don’t know what to do anymore. Luna’s birthday is in a few days. How am I going to tell him?”
She pulls me into her arms, placing a chaste kiss on the top of my head. “You do know what you need to do. You just need to build up the courage to do it. I know you don’t want to spring this on everyone and ruin her birthday, but she’ll have many more, Selene.”
“He’s going to hate me,” I whimper.
She’s silent as she heaves a deep sigh. “He’ll be angry with you. There’s no doubt it. But I don’t think it’s possible for anyone to hate you, Selene. You’re the sliver of light we long for. You’re our moon, brightening our sky when everything is dark.”
“How am I going to tell Luna?”
“Talk to Endymion first. You can both decide how you want to tell Luna. This isn’t just your decision anymore. This is his, too. It’s time to start including him in his daughter’s life.”
That night, I crawl into bed beside Luna and pull her into my body, hugging her to me so tightly, I fear I might hurt her, but I don’t let go. I’m so scared of letting go.
I don’t want to lose her.
For so long, it’s just been her and me against the world. I never considered what it’d be like if that dynamic changed. I whisper sweet reassurances to her under my breath as I look out the window at the moon. So many things could go wrong. He could try to take her from me. He could try to keep me from her permanently. My heart clenches painfully at the thought, causing tears to leak out of the corners of my eyes. I squeeze my lids shut, praying for the strength it’ll take to do the right thing.
The thing I should’ve done years ago.
Endymion deserves it.
My beautiful little girl deserves it.
I think of how sweet End has been lately, how hard he’s tried to get me to open up, and I mourn the loss of a relationship that can never be.
He is the day. I am the night.
He is the sun. I am the moon.
We’re opposite souls, yet we’ve found our way to each other despite that. I just hope there is a way to coexist peacefully.
I watch her climb the steps into her house, and as she goes, I can’t ignore the tingle reverberating from my lips. Every time I’m close to kissing her, I can’t help but get these flashes of that previous dream. The