behind my ear, and caresses my face reverently.
“My sweet little Bea. There’s no force on this earth that can ever make me stop loving you. I will love you until the day I die, sweet girl. That’s a promise.”
Tears spring to my eyes, and I give him a watery smile.
“Always?”
“And forever, baby,” he whispers as he cradles my face and places his mouth over mine in a soft caress.
We pull away, and I rest my head on his warm chest. We watch the sun fade behind the lush tall grass of the field, and the rainbow of colors that fall over us. I close my eyes and listen to the beat of his heart until it synchronizes with the beat of my own.
The twisting of my doorknob sends a shiver of dread through my body. My eyes fling open and my heart rate accelerates.
Please don’t let it be him, the small voice in my head says. But I know it’s him. It’s the same routine every night. He barges into my room and takes everything from me.
The door creaks on its hinges, closing with a soft click. My heart pounds within the confines of my chest, a cool sweat creeping over my body. I clench my eyes shut, my breath turning into frightened pants. His footsteps grow closer. My body tenses, and coils tightly just thinking about what’s next. He crawls over my stiff body, and my stomach churns. He smells like her. Bile rises in my throat, and I will the burning in my eyes to fade. He shoves his face in my neck, inhaling with a soft groan. It’s sickening. His hardness pokes me in my thigh, and my breath freezes. I hope and pray that this time will be different than the rest. But it’s not. It never is.
Within seconds my pajama bottoms and underwear are shoved down my legs, and his hands are frantically freeing himself. I make no move to stop him anymore. It’s no use. White hot, searing pain erupts between my thighs. His hands grip my wrists above my head, effectively trapping me—caging me in. His movements feel like a serrated blade within me. His excited pants blow across the side of my face. My lip trembles with the need to sob, but I can’t. My tears excite him. I force my mind to go somewhere else. I think of the only thing that makes me happy.
I think about the boy I fell in love with.
The boy that promised he’d love me forever.
The same boy that ripped my heart in half, leaving me for dead at the hands of him.
I think of him because regardless of all the pain he’s caused, a very small piece of my now shattered heart still loves him. He holds every good memory that can get me through this.
Opening my eyes, I stare blankly at the galaxy of stars painted on my ceiling as he thrusts inside of me with all his strength. My mind wanders, and slowly my body begins to thaw, and goes blessedly numb.
I’ve become so accustomed to this that I don’t feel anything anymore. I count the stars on the ceiling over and over until eventually the pain stops altogether. A thick hand wraps tightly around my throat, jerking my face away from the ceiling, snatching me out of the safety of my mind. My eyes land on a pair of dead, cold, brown ones. The sneer on his face is malicious; filled with pure hatred. His nails dig into my skin, until I wince at the sting. The weight of his palm crushes my windpipe, blocking my airflow. He crashes his lips down over mine and takes my mouth in a brutal kiss. He bites on my bottom lip until he draws blood. Finally satisfied with his work tonight, he lifts his sweaty body off mine, and leaves the room without a care in the world.
One single tear slips out of the corner of my eye, trailing into my hair. I shift my eyes back to the ceiling, unable to move. My numb reprieve is slowly fading, while my reality is seeping in. It’s always the same. The rape, the threat and the tears. I’ve stopped praying that someone will help me. It’s hopeless. No one cares enough to stop and open their eyes. My mother left with her new husband, leaving her only daughter in the hands of a sick monster, and the boy I loved ripped my heart out the day