I fall to the floor with her, grabbing at her, trying to squeeze and comfort her while wading through my own pain. The new reality that my father and her estranged husband is gone.
“We spent so many years fighting. So much wasted time.”
I tuck her head beneath my chin, tightening my grip. “It’s going to be okay. I promise.”
I repeat the phrase over and over again until I actually believe it.
That night, I head out to the creek, needing a moment to myself to gather my thoughts. Gripped tightly in my hand is the letter and the small box Endymion gave me. It has my name written on the front in my father’s handwriting. I’ve been sitting here, running the pads of my fingers over the letters, tracing each of them. There’s this inexplicable tightness in my chest. I want to read the words inside, but then again, I don’t. I’m afraid I won’t be able to handle them.
Sucking in a lungful of air, I close my eyes and tear through the envelope, pulling out the folded sheet of paper inside. With trembling hands, I open the letter, and a sob catches in my throat when I read the first words.
Darling Selene,
I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I won’t be here for as long as I’d like. As fathers, we look forward to the day our daughters grow up and marry, just the same way we despise it. I hate that I won’t see how beautiful you’ll look on your wedding day. I hate that I won’t be there to hold my next grandchild. I hate that I won’t get to watch our little Luna grow up into a beautiful young woman, just like her mother.
A lot of life is simply about luck, and I was lucky enough to have it in spades when your mother agreed to marry me. I held on to that luck over the years, because it gave me a beautiful daughter who became the light of my life, then it gave me a granddaughter who owned half of my heart, alongside her mother. That luck of mine has run out. I wish I had the words to make you feel better. I wish so many things were different, but they are not.
I often dreamed about your wedding day and imagined filling up with tears as I walked you down the aisle. The only comfort is knowing the man I’m positive you’ll end up with is a good man. If there was ever anyone I’d agree to give my daughter away to, it’s Endymion. I know it’s easy to hold on to the hurt of the past, but I can say with utmost uncertainty that I’ve never seen a man look at a woman the way he looks at you. Like you and Luna are his whole entire world. That’s what every father wants for his daughter, someone worthy of her love.
Remember to laugh while I’m gone, and don’t forget to smile through the pain. The way you light up a room, Selene, is one of the most beautiful things about you. You never laugh at 50%; you always laugh at 100%. It takes over your whole body and is highly infectious. I hope you never lose that. And I hope Luna won’t either.
When Luna is old enough to understand, I hope she’ll know how much I loved her and how much I cherished each moment we spent together. Remind her to be strong in the face of every challenge. Never let anyone put her down or crush her spirit because she is the beauty we find in life. She is the happiness you and End get to keep for yourselves. Tell her to keep speaking her mind, to keep believing she’s capable of anything. There is nothing in this world she can’t do.
Despite the many mistakes in my life, I need you to know you’re the single best thing I’ve had in my life, Selene. I know growing up in the house with your mother and me wasn’t always easy, and that’s something I’ll have to face every single day. It was never you, Selene. Nothing was ever your fault. It was ours. Having you as my daughter has been the greatest accomplishment of my life. Thank you for teaching me about love and happiness more than any other person.
You are the moon, Selene. You’re the bright light in the darkness. You’re the beauty in the night, and don’t you ever forget it.
Enjoy life. Live it