Not anything that would make me want to change the nature of our relationship.
“Everything has gotten complicated between us. It’s not the clear, clean-cut relationship I normally have. Usually, I set the rules and that’s what we play by. Not this time,” I admit.
“Well, I’ll tell ye the first problem. Yer playing. What’s the meaning of the word? Go on look it up.”
I pull my phone out and pull up the definition to read aloud. “To engage in activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose.”
“Aye, let that sink in. Anything you play at you are not serious about. Yer twenty-eight, John. It’s time to start thinking about where ye want to be in a year or two. Will playing be enough for ye?” she asks and tilts her head to the side.
“I don’t know,” I murmur.
I’ve often thought about my lifestyle. Do I want to keep bouncing from Sub to Sub? I’ve had a few that I wouldn’t have mind seeing if I could enter longer arrangements with, but I still can’t say I’ve been in love with any of them.
Mom covers my hand with hers. I look into her eyes as she gives me a warm smile. It hits me hard that someday I want what my father has. Someone to bear my children and help me to raise them with love.
“When you find the right one, she will understand you enough to allow you to be the kink little fucker you are and be everything else that you need. Until then, kick that Marsha to the side.” She frowns at the end of her statement.
I laugh. “It’s Missy.”
“Do I look like I give even the wee bit of a fuck?”
I bark out more laughter. “No, Mom you don’t.”
“Now eat ye muffins before Braxton shows up and eats them all. He’s a human garbage disposal.”
I snort and shake my head. I love my mother. I don’t know what we’d do without her.
Roni
“Hey, you okay in there?”
I suck my busted bottom lip into my mouth. I don’t know how many days have gone by since I’ve been down here. I haven’t eaten in however many days that might be.
I try to stifle my cries. I think I’m losing my mind. I still can’t remember anything and the anxiety of not knowing what happened to Raven and Natasha is weighing on me along with the anticipation of what they plan for me next.
“Hey, you okay?” The voice comes again. It’s male, but young, not quite a child, but not a man either.
It’s also not the voice I’ve been hearing, the voice I believe belongs to my father. I’ve been hearing that voice a lot and having dreams and visions of him and me as a young girl. I get the feeling that he wasn’t such a loving man. Which leads me to believe even more that he’s not coming for me and probably isn’t worried that I’m gone.
“No… no,” I choke out.
“You have to stay strong. We’re going to get out of here. I’m Torque.”
I furrow my brows. He sounds like he’s barely entered puberty, but here he is trying to give me reassurance. My heart aches as I think of all the people here that have had their lives snatched away. Young girls and boys. This isn’t right.
“I’m Roni,” I say as I shove down a sob.
“Have… did… are you hurt?” he says in a softer tone. “Not the beatings. Did they touch you?”
My heart burns. From the sound of his voice, I don’t even want to think of his reply. These sick bastards need to pay for what they’ve done to everyone. I ball my fists as I pull my knees into my chest.
The cold floor beneath me chills my body, but my blood boils with my anger. I haven’t been raped, which had been my biggest fear when they first brought me down here. However, they have jerked off in front of me while making me watch, beaten me, splashed me with ice water repeatedly, and starved me.
“No,” I say barely above a whisper, but I know he’s heard me when he releases a relieved breath.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah.”
“There’s a girl that they use to help to talk to the others. She’s… um, Black, I think and pretty. Really pretty. She can understand and speak to almost everyone,” he says cautiously.
I bite my inner cheek. He’s talking about Natasha. I take pause and try to decide if I should say anything. This