I’m getting flowers at the apartment and kisses goodnight that aren’t of the friend variety.”
Val laughs at me, causing me to roll my eyes. “I once told you the two of you are inevitable. Why are you fighting it?”
“I don’t know,” I whisper. “I need to make up my mind. Three and a half years is a long time to be in love with someone and deny it.”
Yup, I said that out loud. I’ve been in love with John since he held my pissy ass on that bus and made me feel like a human again. If it weren’t for that crazy ex of his, we’d probably be way more by now.
“Why deny it? Is it this monster that’s riding your back? I’ve been there. You have time? I will tell you about me and Uri. Maybe that will help.”
“I have time.”
I plop down on my ass in the sand as Val goes into the story of her and her husband. As she speaks things start to become clearer to me. I see a lot of myself in her.
“I’ve used his ex as an excuse to keep my distance,” I say when Val is done. “With all the shit I have going on, it used to make sense. Now, all I know is I want to stop fighting it. But… how do I do that knowing I don’t know what happened to my friend? Is it right for me to be happy? She could be living a nightmare.”
“One of the things I respect about you most is your loyalty. You’re a great friend. The way you look after Torque, this girl you wish to find. I wish you told me about her sooner.”
“I didn’t know who I could trust.”
“I understand.” She pauses. “I think she would want you to be happy either way. If it were me… my sister would have wanted the best for me. I know she would. I live every day to the fullest for her and my mother. Watching them die… a piece of me was killed with them, but the rest, the part that’s still breathing, they would want that part to be happy. So that’s what I’m doing. I think your friend would want the same.”
“Maybe.”
“So stubborn. Listen, my children and husband are looking at me like I’m neglecting them. I better see you at that wedding. And Roni.”
“Yeah?”
“Let him love you. You know you love him. Three and a half years is a long time to love someone. To love them and be patient. See this from his eyes,” she says and hangs up.
I’m floored by her words. I feel pretty damn selfish too. I start to wonder when John has time to get some ass. He’s either always with me and Torque or with his brothers.
Then it hits me. I don’t think he’s had sex since we moved here. That’s insane. Even I flick the bean at night to fantasies of him.
I sit for another hour before I stand and brush the sand off my backside. I’m still lost in thought as I make my way to my car. My phone buzzes with a text.
John: We’re on our way home. Did you eat?
I can’t help smiling. We didn’t move into his big house, but somewhere along the way he moved into our apartment. I needed an extra bedroom for an office, my ass. He planned on moving in from the time he found us the place.
Me: Nope. Not yet. I want tacos.
“Is that John?”
I look up at the sound of the whiny, irritating as fuck voice. This bitch. Like does she have some type of radar for when John and I are together. She has to.
I fold my arms over my chest and cock my hip to the side as I glare at her. “First, get your ass off my car before I drag you off it.”
“So violent. I don’t get what he sees in you. You’re not even the submissive type,” she says in disgust.
“From what I hear you weren’t filling the role that well yourself,” I toss back.
“Listen. I’m giving you one last chance to back off. Things have changed and I want to fix things with John. We have history. We can make this work.”
I look at her, I mean, really look at her. I don’t think she’s that crazy. It’s more stupidity than anything else going on here.
“Yeah, good luck with that. Now get out of my way.”
“I’m warning you. Back off or you both are going to